A Day at the Races Page #3

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The last job I had,

I had to take it out in trade.

And this is no butcher shop.

Not yet anyhow.

Judy, it seems to me,

if I may say so...

...we are making rather

a hasty decision.

Surely you don't question

the doctor's ability.

No. Not exactly.

But running a sanitarium calls

for a man with peculiar talents.

I've got the most peculiar talents

of any doctor you ever met.

I'm satisfied with Mrs. Upjohn's

recommendations.

If you'll excuse me, I'll go

and bring in the rest of the staff.

Why don't you go out and bring in

something. Preferably your resignation.

Tell me, Dr. Hackenbush...

...just what was your medical

background?

- Medically?

- Yes.

Well, at the age of 15, I got a job

in a drugstore filling prescriptions.

Don't you have to be 21

to fill prescriptions?

Well, that's for grownups.

I just filled them for children.

No, no, doctor.

I mean, where did you get your training

as a physician?

Oh, well, to begin with,

I took four years at Vassar.

- Vassar? But that's a girls' college.

- I found that out the third year.

I'd have been there yet, but I went out

for the swimming team.

The doctor seems reluctant

to discuss his medical experiences.

Well, medically, my experiences

have been most unexciting.

- Except during the flu epidemic.

- And what happened?

I got the flu.

- Oh, doctor, I think it's time for my pill.

- Lx-nay on the ill-pay.

Now, you told me

to take them regularly.

Just a minute, Mrs. Upjohn.

- That looks like a horse pill to me.

- Oh, you've taken them before?

- You sure you haven't made a mistake?

- You have nothing to worry about.

The last patient I gave one of those to

won the Kentucky Derby.

May I examine this, please?

Do you actually give those

to your patients?

Isn't that awfully large for a pill?

It was too small for a basketball,

and I didn't know what to do with it.

Say, you're awfully large

for a pill yourself.

Dr. Wilmerding...

...just what is your opinion?

It must take a lot of water

to swallow that.

Nonsense. You can swallow that

with 5 gallons.

Isn't that a lot of water

for a patient to take?

Not if the patient

has a bridge in her mouth.

The water flows under, the patient walks

over and meets the pill on the other side.

So it's war!

I'm off to the battlefield!

No, that's from the racetrack.

- Racetrack? Well, what am I doing here?

- Oh, doctor, don't leave me!

Well, you won it, Stuffy.

Nice work, Stuffy.

I told you to lose that race.

Stuffy, where are you? Where's Stuffy?

Did you see my jockey?

Whoa. Please, Mr. Morgan,

don't stay here.

You ought to beat the head

off that ornery devil!

Well, he only acts this way

when he sees or hears you.

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