A Date with Miss Fortune Page #8

that you write funny tv.

But what do you do for a living?

Uhh well, that's it.

I'm a... I'm a writer.

I write sitcoms for a living.

Jack created the show "My Two D*cks"?

Sweet!!!

Detectives.

My Two Detectives.

Writing is not a job.

Have you thought about construction?

You need a real job to support a family.

Jose, what did we talk about?

I'm being nice.

Right, Jack?

Why don't you tell us what

you know about Portugal.

Dad?

Let him answer, badger.

Well I umm...

This should be good.

I didn't realize this would be on the test.

To be honest, I don't know too much, sir.

All I know is that Portugal's

a very small country...

So they must have very small people

so they can all fit in it.

Not that you're small sir.

You are a good size.

But one thing is for certain.

Portugal's number one export

must be beautiful women.

Maria, Avo...

Uhh, Mrs. Moniz.

Mr. Moniz, you are a lucky man!

Lucky that I'm not ten years older.

That's some uh, good

Portuguese genes right there

and I'd love to get in on that action.

I mean, have beautiful

Portuguese children one day,

with your daughter, not your wife.

That would be wildly inappropriate.

Is this another one of your jokes, Jack?

Jesus Christ, no.

Jack.

Oh, goddamnit.

Jack!

Did you know that five hundred years ago

Portugal conquered eighty

percent of the globe?!

Now how could such a small

country have so much power?

Because they are strong and smart?

That's right!

Hey Marco, take Jack to your

room and show him the old map!!

Right now before dinner.

Do I have to?

If you're not out of

here in five seconds...

Dad.

How could you give up

such a nice Portuguese doctor for this?

Jose, please.

I will not please Anna!

Someone in this family has

to talk some sense to her!

Maria.

You two don't belong together.

You're too different.

Can't you see?

I mean, he will never understand us.

Daddy, I love him.

You only think you do, I can

find you a better match.

Trust me.

How could you?!

The silence must have been killing you!

You get asked a simple

question about Portugal,

and you answer it by insulting my dad

and then hitting on my mom?!

You know your dad makes me very nervous.

And your mom...

Well it was meant as a compliment.

It was creepy!

Why didn't you just talk about backpacking

through Europe, Jack?

Wait, you have been to Europe, right?

I'm so sorry.

Oh my god, you lied to me?!

I was trying to impress you!

I got caught up.

"We've only have this one world,

we should try and experience it"?!!

Have you even been to India?!

Indiana?

I'm so sorry.

I swear it's the only thing

I've ever fibbed about

and I am so sorry Maria.

For lying and embarrassing you.

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