A Damsel in Distress Page #5

nobleman, Lord Leonard Strathbungo,

hurled himself from that balcony

to avoid compromising the beautiful

Countess Of Marshmoreton.

This was a feat of bravery

and daring which,

in the whole history of the castle,

has never been duplicated.

Thank you. Thank you.

Did he break his neck? George, maybe

he didn't like his neck. Maybe.

Now those of you who may wish,

will be conducted by the footmen

to inspect the model dairy.

Why?

I am happy to relate

that his lordship is the owner of

no fewer than 15 hundred cows.

Does he herd sheep? Oh, George, you

can't say, "Does he heard sheep?"

You mean, "Does he hear sheep?"

or "Has he heard sheep?"

But you can't say...

ALL:
"Does he heard sheep?" NO.

Well, now we will return

by way of the ballroom.

George, isn't he a silly man!

Now, let's all start together.

Right-ho.

And let's try and finish together.

# There was a jolly British tar

who met a milkmaid bonny

# He said, How beautiful

you are, with a hey and a nonny

# With a hey and a nonny

# Such golden hair I ne'er did see

with lips to shame a cherry

# Oh, buxom milkmaid, marry me

# With a down-a-derry

# With a down-a-down-a-derry

# Our hearts could rhyme, said she

# Tis flattered I'm, said she

# But oh, ah, me

You see, you see, you see, you see

# I happen to be

I happen to be the mother of three

# A wife already and mother of three

# Of three, of three, of

three, of three, of three

# The mother of three... #

# The jolly tar, he laughed a lot

# Tis for the best, my bonny

# That you won't be my better half

With a hey and a nonny

# With a hey and a nonny

# I near forgot on seeing you

That I've a wife in Kerry

# In Spain and also Timbuktu

# With a down-a-derry

With a down-a-down-a-derry... #

# ...You've got me thinking twice

Goodbye to shoes and rice

# For, ah, me

You see, you see

# Now, you see, I happen to be

I happen to be the husband of three

# A-spliced already

and husband of three

# A-spliced already

and husband of three

# Of three

Of three, of three, of three

# Of three, of three, of three

Of three, of three, of three

# A husband o-o-o-o-o-o-f

# Three

# Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

# Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

# Ah! #

BOY WHISTLES:

After him and turn him out. Very

well, m'lady. ..Thomas! ..Henry!

Sit down. Hurry up!

Now...

close your eyes.

Now count. Count?

You're surprising her, ain't you?

It'll be more romantic.

She can creep softly in

and plant a kiss on your brow.

All right.

Count.

One, two, three,

four... Louder.

Five, six...

Give it a bit more.

Eleven, twelve...

thirteen...

eighteen, nineteen, twenty,

twenty-one,

twenty-two, twenty-three,

twenty-four,

twenty-five, twenty-six,

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