A Damsel in Distress Page #2

I've another little idea here.

I say...

'Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello.

Get out of there!

You've committed a breach of the

peace. You'll be charged for this.

Officer, I'm glad you arrived.

This man is annoying me.

There is a young lady in this cab.

Ridiculous! There is! There is not!

We shall see.

A practical joker, eh?

Playing jokes on the law! Come

along with me, the both of you!

There was a young lady and

you're evading the truth.

My friend... I'm denying nothing.

Ladies and gentlemen,

for your kind attention,

I will give you my impression

of Jerry Halliday.

Is it him? It is!

Come on, Jerry.

Give us a dance, will you?

Come on, Jerry. You can do it!

A bit of music for Jerry.

Come on, Jerry.

SWING MUSIC PLAYS

Now...

come here.

# Bad news, go away

# Call round some day

# In March or May

# I can't be bothered now

# My bonds and shares

# May fall downstairs

# Who cares? Who cares?

# I'm dancing

and I can't be bothered now

# I walk among the stars

# On earthly things I frown

# I'm throwing off the bars

that held me down

# I'll pay the piper

# When times get riper

# Just now, I shan't

# Because, you see, I'm dancing

and I can't be bothered now... #

I say there!

Eat my roses, will you?

Make me work twice as hard,

will you?

Take that! And that! And that!

Beg your pardon, your lordship.

What is it?

Milk, m'lord.

Milk?! What am I - a baby or a cow?

Take it away!

FANFARE BLARES:

HE BURSTS INTO A JAZZ TUNE

Reggie! Yes, Uncle John?

Stop that noise! Right-ho!

And stop saying "Right-ho".

Right-ho!

Take it away. Beg your pardon,

my lord. Lady Caroline's orders.

I'm not to move

until you've drunk the last drop.

Father! Hello, my dear.

Could you do me a favour? What?

Marry that saxophone-playing

pest and take him away from here.

I won't marry Reggie

and you know the reason.

All right, then. But next time you

slip to London, let me go with you.

I'd like to take a look at him.

So would I!

See him, your American?

How could I with Keggs following me

and fighting in the street?

I wish you'd be sensible

and forget him.

Being apart a year hasn't made me

forget him. That proves I love him.

REGGIE PLAYS A FANFARE

Stop that nonsense. Look!

Uh-oh. Stormy weather approaching.

John, read this, please.

You know I can't read

without glasses.

What the devil is it?

It may interest you to know

Keggs spent last night in prison.

Keggs!

Keggs, come here

Oh, Keggs!

So you hit a policeman, eh?

No, m'lord, I kicked him.

Caroline, you can put up

with a kicking steward, I can not.

You're sacked for being drunk

and disorderly in public.

Keggs was not drunk and disorderly.

I suppose you were an eyewitness.

Rate this script:2.0 / 1 vote