A Countess from Hong Kong

- What's the charge, sister?

- Half a dollar a dance.

- You mean them women are countesses?

- Some are.

Thank you, sir.

- I got a ticket to dance with a countess.

- Go to it, buddy.

Want to tell the folks back home

I'm movin' in high society.

- Oh, pardon me. Can I sit down?

- Please.

I've got a ticket to dance.

You a countess?

No kiddin'!

Tell me, how many countesses

are there around here?

Oh, quite a few.

Every statesman, every minister

and diplomat should dedicate himself...

to the cause of world peace.

Ogden, it's Harvey!

Ogden, are you still at that speech?

Here we are, China, Hong Kong,

and you're still trying to save the world.

Let's get out of here. See the town.

We're only staying 24 hours.

Okay, sir.

Can ya believe it? Hong Kong.

By golly, I can see a Chinaman.

I wouldn't be at all surprised.

Look at them.

Packed together like sardines.

That's what I dislike about

the poor. They have no taste.

They indulge in squalor. They pick

the worst neighbourhoods to live in...

eat the worst kind of food

and dress atrociously.

That wasn't a smile.

That was a gas pain.

How do you feel, buddy?

- Depressed.

- You should be the happiest man

in the world.

Six weeks you'll be divorced,

and possibly the next Secretary of State.

- We'll wait and see.

- Here's the day's paper.

"Ogden Mears, multimillionaire,

son of the richest oilman in the world...

will be the new

Secretary of State."

Let me see that.

"Son of the richest oilman in the world."

They won't let you forget it.

That's the burden you must carry.

Harvey, you're a corrupting influence.

Maybe, but I didn't lead you

into politics.

- What else is there to do?

- Murder, arson, rape.

There's plenty of worthy occupations.

- Crawford, sir.

- Come in, Crawford.

Just came over the wire.

The President has appointed

Mr Patrick Dowling...

- Secretary of State.

- Dowling, huh?

Well, that's show business.

- Who the devil is Patrick Dowling?

- Secretary of State.

- I'll check for more news.

- Thank you, Crawford.

Harvey, I guess you're right. I think

I'll give up trying to save the world.

Tonight we're gonna celebrate

Patrick Dowling's appointment.

Excuse me, sir.

Mr Clark has telephoned.

Mr Clark? Where is he?

Up in the lounge.

He says he's on his way down.

- Show him here.

- Yes, sir.

- Who's Clark?

- He's one of Father's senior directors.

A venerable old gentleman.

We don't want to get stuck with that

old boy for the rest of the evening.

No, I'll get rid of him.

Remember you just got over the flu.

Took a long sea voyage

to get away from it all.

- We don't want to be

visiting parks and museums.

- Mr Clark, sir.

Ogden, my dear boy,

I haven't seen you since

you were in swaddling clothes.

I must say you're

the replica of your father.

Uh, Mr Clark, may I present

my friend Harvey Crothers?

How do you do?

I beg your pardon.

Well, sir.

Hudson tells me you're under the weather

and here I am ready to show you the town.

I think perhaps I better stay

inside and just take things easy.

Of course, my dear boy.

I'll not disturb you.

But before I go, I'd like to introduce

some very dear friends of mine.

They're waiting in the lounge.

Well, certainly. Hudson, would you show

Mr Clark's friends in?

- They're alone in the lounge.

You can't miss them.

- Yes, sir.

Well, Ogden, too bad you're not

up to scratch. I was looking

forward to showing you around.

Yes, well, I'm disappointed.

I was reading about it

and it sounds fascinating.

- The botanical gardens and museums...

- Oh, dear me, dear me.

Botanical gardens? Ha, ha, ha!

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