A Christmas Carol

Yes.

Quite dead.

As a doornail.

Certificate of death, sir.

Stop!

Back away, paddock.

Tuppence is tuppence.

- Beg your pardon!

- I say!

Delinquents.

Newspaper!

We're hungry, sir!

Please, sir, we're very hungry.

Any morsel. We're hungry, sir.

- Any scraps.

- We're starving,

Please, sir. We're very hungry.

Oh! Merry Christmas,

from his lordship, the mayor!

- Please, sir.

- Oh, look. There it is.

Oi! Come back here with that!

That's our meat!

Give it back! That's ours!

Come back here!

- There you are, sir.

- Thanks.

Fresh hot chestnuts.

- How would you like this one?

- That's perfect.

That's a nice fresh eel.

Here is the Father, the Son

and the Holy Ghost. Get lost.

And under which one is the pea?

Boom, boom, boom, boom...

Boom! Get out of here.

There we are. Watch this now.

Merry Christmas, Uncle!

- God save you.

- Bah! Humbug!

Christmas a humbug?

Uncle! You don't mean that.

Merry Christmas.

What reason have you to be merry?

You're poor enough.

What right have you to be so dismal?

You're rich enough.

- Humbug!

- Don't be cross, Uncle.

What else can I be when I live

in such a world of fools as this?

Merry Christmas.

What's Christmas time to you but

a time for paying bills without money.

A time for finding yourself a year older

and not a penny richer.

If I could work my will,

every idiot who goes about

with "Merry Christmas" on his lips

should be boiled in his own pudding

and buried with a stake of holly

through his head!

- Uncle!

- Nephew!

Keep Christmas in your own way

and let me keep it in mine.

Keep it? But you don't keep it!

Let me leave it alone then.

Much good it has ever done you.

There are many things from which I have

derived good and have not profited.

Christmas being among them.

But I have always thought of Christmas

as a kind, charitable time.

The only time when men

open their shut-up hearts

and think of all people

as fellow travellers to the grave

and not some other race of creatures

bound on other journeys.

And therefore, Uncle,

although it has never put a scrap

of gold or silver in my pocket,

I believe it has done me good,

and I say, God bless it!

Let me hear another

sound out of you, Cratchit,

and you'll keep Christmas

by losing your situation!

You're quite a powerful speaker, sir.

A wonder you don't go into Parliament.

Don't be cross, Uncle.

Come, dine with us tomorrow.

I'll see you in hell first.

But why?

Why so cold-headed, Uncle? Why?

Why did you get married?

Because I fell in love.

Because...

...you fell...

...in love?

Good afternoon.

I want nothing from you.

I ask nothing of you.

- Why can't we be friends?

- Good afternoon.

I'm sorry, with all my head,

to find you so resolute.

But I have made the trial

in homage to Christmas, and therefore,

- merry Christmas, Uncle!

- Good afternoon!

- And a happy New Year!

- Good afternoon!

And a very merry Christmas

to you too, Mr Cratchit.

Merry Christmas to you, sir.

There's another one.

A clerk making 15 shillings a week...

...and with a wife and family,

talking about a merry Christmas.

I'll retire to Bedlam.

Ah. Good afternoon.

Scrooge and Marley's, I believe?

Ah...

Have I the pleasure of addressing

Mr Scrooge or Mr Marley?

Mr Marley has been dead

these seven years.

He died seven years ago...

this very night.

Oh...

Well, we have no doubt

that his generosity

is well represented

by his surviving partner.

At this festive season

of the year, Mr Scrooge,

it is more than usually desirable that

we should make some slight provision

for the poor and the destitute.

Many thousands are in want

of common comfort, sir.

Are there no prisons?

Prisons? Yes, yes, plenty of prisons.

And the union workhouses,

are they still in operation?

They are. I wish

I could say they were not.

The treadmill in full vigour?

- Very busy, sir.

- Good!

I was afraid something had occurred

to stop them in their useful course.

Yes. At this festive season, a few

of us are endeavoring to raise a fund

to buy the poor some meat

and drink and means of warmth.

What shall we put you down for?

- Nothing.

- Oh, you wish to remain anonymous?

I wish to be left alone!

I don't make merry myself at Christmas,

and I can't afford

to make idle people merry.

I support the establishments

I have mentioned.

And those who are badly off

must go there.

Many cannot go there.

And, well, frankly,

many would rather die.

Then they had better do it

and decrease the surplus population.

Good afternoon, gentlemen!

Good afternoon.

You'll want all day tomorrow, I suppose?

Well, if quite convenient, sir.

It's not convenient, and it's not fair.

If I were to dock you a half a crown

for it, you'd think yourself ill-used.

And yet you don't think me ill-used

when I pay a day's wages for no work.

Well, it's only once a year, sir.

Poor excuse for picking a man's pocket

every 25th of December.

But I suppose you

must have the whole day.

Be here all the earlier

the next morning.

Sir.

Whoa!

In honour of Christmas Eve!

Whoa!

Bugger it!

Where are you? Here!

Why does everything

seem to happen to me?

Ah!

Get away! Get away!

Ha! Balderdash!

I have given myself the willies.

That's what it is.

It's all still a hum...ah!

Oh!

How now!

What do you want with me?

Oh, much.

- Who are you?

- Ask me who I was.

Who were you then?

In life, I was your partner,

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