A Christmas Carol

Yes.

Quite dead.

As a doornail.

Certificate of death, sir.

Stop!

Back away, paddock.

Tuppence is tuppence.

- Beg your pardon!

- I say!

Delinquents.

Newspaper!

We're hungry, sir!

Please, sir, we're very hungry.

Any morsel. We're hungry, sir.

- Any scraps.

- We're starving,

Please, sir. We're very hungry.

Oh! Merry Christmas,

from his lordship, the mayor!

- Please, sir.

- Oh, look. There it is.

Oi! Come back here with that!

That's our meat!

Give it back! That's ours!

Come back here!

- There you are, sir.

- Thanks.

Fresh hot chestnuts.

- How would you like this one?

- That's perfect.

That's a nice fresh eel.

Here is the Father, the Son

and the Holy Ghost. Get lost.

And under which one is the pea?

Boom, boom, boom, boom...

Boom! Get out of here.

There we are. Watch this now.

Merry Christmas, Uncle!

- God save you.

- Bah! Humbug!

Christmas a humbug?

Uncle! You don't mean that.

Merry Christmas.

What reason have you to be merry?

You're poor enough.

What right have you to be so dismal?

You're rich enough.

- Humbug!

- Don't be cross, Uncle.

What else can I be when I live

in such a world of fools as this?

Merry Christmas.

What's Christmas time to you but

a time for paying bills without money.

A time for finding yourself a year older

and not a penny richer.

If I could work my will,

every idiot who goes about

with "Merry Christmas" on his lips

should be boiled in his own pudding

and buried with a stake of holly

through his head!

- Uncle!

- Nephew!

Keep Christmas in your own way

and let me keep it in mine.

Keep it? But you don't keep it!

Let me leave it alone then.

Much good it has ever done you.

There are many things from which I have

derived good and have not profited.

Christmas being among them.

But I have always thought of Christmas

as a kind, charitable time.

The only time when men

open their shut-up hearts

and think of all people

as fellow travellers to the grave

and not some other race of creatures

bound on other journeys.

And therefore, Uncle,

although it has never put a scrap

of gold or silver in my pocket,

I believe it has done me good,

and I say, God bless it!

Let me hear another

sound out of you, Cratchit,

and you'll keep Christmas

by losing your situation!

You're quite a powerful speaker, sir.

A wonder you don't go into Parliament.

Don't be cross, Uncle.

Come, dine with us tomorrow.

I'll see you in hell first.

But why?

Why so cold-headed, Uncle? Why?

Why did you get married?

Because I fell in love.

Because...

...you fell...

...in love?

Good afternoon.

I want nothing from you.

I ask nothing of you.

- Why can't we be friends?

- Good afternoon.

I'm sorry, with all my head,

to find you so resolute.

But I have made the trial

in homage to Christmas, and therefore,

- merry Christmas, Uncle!

- Good afternoon!

- And a happy New Year!

- Good afternoon!

And a very merry Christmas

to you too, Mr Cratchit.

Merry Christmas to you, sir.

There's another one.

A clerk making 15 shillings a week...

...and with a wife and family,

talking about a merry Christmas.

I'll retire to Bedlam.

Ah. Good afternoon.

Scrooge and Marley's, I believe?

Ah...

Have I the pleasure of addressing

Mr Scrooge or Mr Marley?

Mr Marley has been dead

these seven years.

He died seven years ago...

this very night.

Oh...

Well, we have no doubt

that his generosity

is well represented

by his surviving partner.

At this festive season

of the year, Mr Scrooge,

it is more than usually desirable that

we should make some slight provision

for the poor and the destitute.

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