A Charlie Brown Christmas

1

I think there must be

something wrong with me, Linus.

Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy.

I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel.

I just don't understand Christmas,

I guess.

I like getting presents

and sending Christmas cards...

...and decorating trees and all that,

but I'm still not happy.

I always end up feeling depressed.

Charlie Brown,

you're the only person I know...

...who can take a wonderful season

like Christmas and turn it into a problem.

Maybe Lucy's right.

Of all the Charlie Browns in the world,

you're the Charlie Browniest.

[ECHOES]

Hello in there.

Rats.

Nobody sent me a Christmas card today.

I almost wish

there weren't a holiday season.

I know nobody likes me.

Why do we have to have a holiday season

to emphasize it?

Thanks for the Christmas card

you sent me, Violet.

I didn't send you a Christmas card,

Charlie Brown.

Don't you know sarcasm

when you hear it?

Pigpen,

you're the only person I know...

...who can raise a cloud of dust

in a snowstorm.

[CHOMPING]

Try to catch snowflakes

on your tongue.

It's fun.

Mm. Needs sugar.

It's too early.

I never eat December snowflakes.

I always wait until January.

They sure look ripe to me.

You think you're so smart

with that blanket.

What are you gonna do with it

when you grow up?

Maybe I'll make it into a sport coat.

I think you have a customer.

May I help you?

-I'm in sad shape.

-Wait a minute.

Before you begin,

I must ask that you pay in advance.

Five cents, please.

Boy, what a sound.

How I love to hear that old money plink,

that beautiful sound of cold, hard cash.

That beautiful, beautiful sound.

Nickels, nickels, nickels.

That beautiful sound of plinking nickels.

All right, now,

what seems to be your trouble?

I feel depressed.

I know I should be happy, but I'm not.

Well, as they say on TV...

...the mere fact

that you realize you need help...

...indicates that you are not too far gone.

I think we'd better pinpoint your fears.

If we can find out what you're afraid of,

we can label it.

Are you afraid of responsibility?

If you are, then you have hypengyophobia.

-I don't think that's quite it.

-How about cats?

If you're afraid of cats,

you have ailurophasia.

Well, sort of, but I'm not sure.

Are you afraid of staircases?

If you are, then you have climacophobia.

Maybe you have thalassophobia.

This is fear of the ocean.

Or gephyrophobia,

which is the fear of crossing bridges.

Or maybe you have pantophobia.

Do you think you have pantophobia?

-What's pantophobia?

-The fear of everything.

[SHOUTING]

That's it!

Actually, Lucy, my trouble is Christmas.

I just don't understand it.

Instead of feeling happy,

I feel sort of let down.

You need involvement.

You need to get involved

in some real Christmas project.

How would you like to be the director

of our Christmas play?

Me? You want me to be the director

of the Christmas play?

Sure, Charlie Brown.

We need a director, you need involvement.

We've got a shepherd, musicians,

animals, everyone you need.

We've even got a Christmas queen.

I don't know anything

about directing a Christmas play.

Don't worry, I'll be there to help you.

I'll meet you at the auditorium.

Incidentally, I know how you feel

about all this Christmas business...

...getting depressed and all that.

It happens to me every year.

I never get what I really want.

I always get a lot of stupid toys

or a bicycle...

...or clothes or something like that.

-What is it you want?

-Real estate.

What's going on here?

What's this?

"Find the true meaning of Christmas.

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