A Brony Tale
1
A BRONY TALE:
When I walk up,
there's this big, fat,
bald muscular guy.
I walk in, and he goes,
"What do you want?"
I said, "I want to make
an appointment to get a tattoo."
He says, "What do you want
a tattoo of?"
And I said, "This,"
and he goes, "What is that?
A puppy? A kitten?"
And, like, one guy in the back
goes, "It's a pony,"
and I said, "I want that guy
to do my tattoo."
Yee-haw!
All right then, there,
here we go, now.
Yee-haw!
Welcome to Apple Acres.
Come on down
and meet the family!
You got Apple Cobbler,
Apple Bumpkin, Apple Turnover,
Apple Pie, little Jazz,
Cousin Braeburn,
Big Mac, Apple Bloom,
and this here is Granny Smith!
Yee-hoo!
Don't worry, Twilight,
I happen to be
the fastest Pegasus in the sky!
The fastest Pegasus in the sky!
The fastest Pegasus
in the sky!
It's because I'm awesome.
Ba-ha-ha-ha!
I guess.
I graduated from the Canadian
College of Performing Arts,
by an agent
at this showcase that we did,
and told me
that he thought I would be good
at voice-over work,
so I went in
and did a reading with him.
He was confident that my voice
capabilities were there,
out to these auditions,
and it was pretty nerve-wracking
at first.
I went into a room
where all these people
knew each other,
And I was this outsider.
I didn't really know
how to, you know,
manoeuvre around the microphone.
I mean,
I'd had singing experience,
So that was good,
but yeah, I just kind of
got thrown into it,
and the first voice-over role
was...
a character
called Slim Pig.
And he's just this paper-thin
pig that would, like,
go around the barn
and get into adventures.
He was, like, a cut-out pig,
but all the other animals
were regular... 3D.
I don't know, it was strange.
I kind of got hired to do
this little boy voice.
So Slim Pig
kind of just sounded like this,
"Hey, Little Chicken,
do you want to go
on an adventure today?"
And he was just, like,
this little dude.
Because I was
a role already on the show,
I got to play Little Chick.
This kind of
sounded like this...
"Adventure! Oh! Adventure!"
I got to play the cow.
She kind of had this,
like, weird voice.
"Oh!"
"Slim Pig!
Puh-please help me!
My head is stuck in a fence!
Please help me moo-ve it!"
Coconut Fred
Fruit Salad Island!
One of my favourite roles,
actually, that I ever got
was this Warner Brothers cartoon
called Coconut Fred's
Fruit Salad Island,
and it was
He didn't know if he was
a fruit or a vegetable,
so he was very sensitive,
and he performed poetry a lot.
"What am I?
A fruit or a veggie?
Either one
could give me a wedgie."
I went into the audition
for the new Care Bears series,
and they were looking
for this new Care Bear
Called Oopsy Bear,
who was this little boy.
I guess they got
a bunch of men to read for him,
and that wasn't working out,
so they got me in there,
and I just kind of based him
on Chris Farley,
like, you know, that kind of,
like, clumsy guy he plays
all the time?
He'll, like, fall...
"Aw, I'm re-really sorry.
I didn't mean to mess up
the thunderbolt coaster.
Sorry."
I got to play...
Boris Bootie.
He was on this show
called Ricky Sprocket.
It was about a show biz kid,
and Boris Bootie
was just an ordinary guy
who really liked
breakfast cereal.
And then, so I think
I got kind of pigeonholed
To play little boys all the time
'cause that was, like,
my goto voice,
Was the little boy voice.
So when I went into audition
for My Little Pony,
I thought it was obvious
that I would read for Spike,
the baby dragon.
And I was just like,
"Oh, I'll just go to, you know,
Do my go-to little boy voice."
Twilight!
Y-You know
I love eating diamonds.
You know,
he's just like this little guy.
I didn't...
I didn't end up getting cast
as Spike,
But I got a call-back
for... not Spike,
but for Applejack
and Rainbow Dash.
I just ended up
getting both roles,
which is pretty crazy.
My job is fun.
It's cool.
It's, like, um...
you know,
you just get to hang out
And do voices for a living.
Not too shabby.
Okay, whatever you want.
Hey! What's going on?
I'm Ashleigh.
I am, uh, at the site of a show
we just played with Hey Ocean!
And I just had
Do you have any voices for us?
Well, uh, well,
I suppose that Applejack's
very happy
that you came out to Hey Ocean!
And Rainbow Dash
Couldn't be more excited!
I need to go watch
Dan Mangan now!
All right.
Peace!
Bye!
Thank you!
See ya guys!
Love you!
A Brony
is a fan of the television show
My Little Pony:
Friendship is Magic,
and...
they're usually males
from the age bracket
of 18 to 30, let's say.
went off in my head
I want to very specifically
not give a shout out
to my Bronies tonight.
Now a show, you're right in
the middle of the normal scale.
Since the reboot of the classic
'80s cartoon debuted last fall,
it's attracted a massive amount
of male viewers.
Combine the words
"brother" and "pony."
The audience
isn't who you might expect.
Fanboys have taken
to creating pony art,
posting fan videos on YouTube,
and creating
blogs dedicated to the show.
Weird fit demographically,
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"A Brony Tale" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/a_brony_tale_1845>.
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