A Boy and His Dog

Ahem. World War 3.

Hot and cold.

Lasted from...

Dog:
Hold.

Dog:
Female.

Dog:
Rover pack has her, 125 yards.

Dog:
Solo, waiting

to move in, 75 yards.

Don't ...your stinking...

all over this god damn..get

away from me, No.....

Get away from me, nooo...

..Help me! Help me!

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, see her jerk when I cut her?

Dog:
Hold, one more.

Dog:
You're still

constantly overreacting.

Dog:
I've absolutely no idea

how I managed to keep

you alive so long.

Dog:
And I wouldn't

bother going down in there

unless your taste has changed radically

Dog:
They left an ugly mess.

Dog:
I said, they left a mess!

I heard you.

Dog:
The poor swine

all my directives go

completely unregarded.

Dog:
Sometimes youre just as

ignorant as any other common rover.

Dog:
One indication of a female alone

Dog:
and leave caution to

the wind, and the eyes glaze

Dog:
glands swell

and the brain freezes.

I can't see a thing

in there....smell it!

Dog:
I thought you were doing all

the scouting today, Vic.

Damn it Blood, don't give

me a hard time, smell it!

Dog:
It's clean.

Ain't that a shame.

Hell, they didn't have to cut her.

She could have been

used three or more times.

Dog:
Ah, war is hell.

All right. Run it again.

Dog:
Youre so funny when

you are sexually frustrated.

And I'm funny enough to

kick you upside the butt!

I said find and I ain't kidding.

Dog:
One does not said ain't,

Albert, simply say I'm not kidding.

Fine, dog meat. And

stop calling me Albert.

Dog:
Ah, and you would stone a poor

defenseless animal, wouldn't you.

Dog:
Yes, I can tell that would.

Dog:
I could tell by your short breath

Dog:
And your disgusting

aggressive behavior that you would.

Dog:
And, humph.

Dog:
that's because you're

not a nice person, Albert

Dog:
you're not a nice person at all.

Dog:
Do I gawk at you

when you're working?

Dog:
I'll locate a

female if there is one.

Dog:
You go look for food.

woohoo, yeah, sonofabitch

why don't you shove it

hey, what's going on?

Dog:
I detect no living

female person in my range, sir.

Dog:
I have sniffed and I have cast

Dog:
And I have a negative reading.

Dog:
However I'd be

happy to tell you a

suggestive story if that would help

Pass, fuzzy-butt.

Dog:
A cautious young man named Lodge

Dog:
Had seat belts

installed in his dodge.

Dog:
When his date was strapped in

Dog:
He committed a sin,

without leaving the garage.

Dog:
That's clever, isn't it?

Let's see, from March 1953 to June...

Dog:
Now Albert, you have all

the cranial capacity of a canary.

Dog:
Now, I'm going to recount these

events of historical

significance once again

Dog:
Now please try to

assimilate them this time.

Dog:
WW3, hot and cold, lasted

from June 1950 to March 1983

Dog:
Dog: When the Vatican

armistice was signed

Dog:
Between the Eastern and

Western blocs, a total of 33 years.

Dog:
Is it too fast for you?

No, I'm right with

you. Dog:
Oh, good.

Dog:
Now World War 4 lasted 5 days

Dog:
Just long enough

for the final missiles

Dog:
to leave their

silos on both sides.

Dog:
What's left here were

once homes with warm hearths...

Hee, hee, would you get off

my back you mad dog, hehehe

Dog:
Now, only

desolation, civilization

lies smothered and decaying

under an ocean of mud

Dog:
belonging to anyone

who's strong enough to

Dog:
kick and fight and

take it for their own.

Dog:
God, that's dramatic, I like it.

Dog:
So, spread about us,

the city of Phoenix, Arizona

Dog:
where in 2006, 18

odd years ago you managed to

Dog:
come into the world

and we became associates.

Dog:
Now, let's hear that back.

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