A Bad Idea Gone Wrong Page #4

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just the house sitter.

- Yes, you did see my face,

you were looking right at me!

- I don't remember, just

vaguely Chinese, that's all.

- Chinese?

- Dude!

- Turn around, Doug!

- Whatever you're looking for, it's all

in a secret hiding spot, I know that.

All the valuables, a computer,

uh, I don't, just everything.

- Where?

- I don't know, I just heard

them talking.

- Ok, you stay here, let's go.

- We should put her back

in the bed.

- I'm fine.

- She's fine!

- No, come on, it's,

we might be a while.

- Really, I'm fine.

- What's your name?

- Darcy.

- Darcy, there's really

no reason

for you to be uncomfortable.

Come on.

- Jesus Christ!

- Good?

- Yeah.

- Shout if you need anything.

- But be f***in' quiet about it.

What are you the concierge?

- She saw my face, she can

identify me,

so I want her to feel as

good as she possibly can

about this whole experience.

W-why are you calling me

by my middle name in there?

You know how much I hate that.

- What are you talking about?

- You called me Doug!

- I didn't know that was your

middle name.

- Yes, you did.

I told you that, wait.

- Ok, now that I look at

it, I may have over-applied.

- So, we have a hostage now.

- Yeah, I know, it is not

ideal, her being here.

- No, it's not ideal.

- No, it is a problem,

but she solves our

two other problems.

- How?

- She knows the code.

- That's true. And we know all the great

stuff is in a secret hiding spot

we wouldn't be

looking for otherwise.

So, all we have to do is find

the spot,

steal the stuff, get the

code, and order our pizza.

- We can do that.

- Hell, yes, we can do that.

- What are you doing?

- There could be one of

those Scooby-doo deals,

where the little thing,

you know.

This is too much stuff!

- Let's start over here.

- Why in the hell would someone

keep a box of blankets

in the garage?

What's the practical

use in that?

You're in bed, you're cold,

you come out to the even

colder garage to get a blanket?

- Eh, I don't know. I know you don't know,

because you wouldn't do that,

because it's a

stupid thing to do!

That's the one percent

in action right there!

This is why our country's

in the shitter!

Hey, now!

If that's not a secret

hidin' spot!

- Oh, it's locked.

- Exactly, because there's

valuable stuff in here.

- Hey, whoa, no!

- What? You're gonna break

everything inside!

- But it's locked!

- So, we'll find the key.

- But we just found this!

- Perfect, so we're on a roll.

This house is just too damn

big, that's the real problem.

- Yeah, if you're robbing

it, but if you're

living here, it's

probably pretty nice.

- It's ostentatious!

I mean, if they were just

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