8 Heads in a Duffel Bag

Synopsis: This is a very black comedy. A mob courier is hired to transport the heads of eight murder victims to a mob boss. However, the duffel bag gets mixed up with the bag of a college student who is off on a vacation in Mexico with his girlfriend and her parents. However, the mother is a recovering alcoholic whom everyone believes is delusional when she claims to have found heads.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Tom Schulman
Production: Orion Home Video
  1 win.
Rotten Tomatoes:
95 min


Die, scumbags

You know, you're late, Tommy

Rico, relax

Okay, then, okay,

you're the boss, come on

That's Hugo Porto's mob, huh?

He tried to move in on Big

Sep's territory down in Atlantic City

Killed Victor Viking's

mom in the process

Wow, what a bunch of scumbags, huh?

Whatever, and there's proof for Big

Sep, you got a ticket on the red-eye

The heads are nice and

clean and ready to go, okay?


Tommy, Big Sep's hot

I'm two weeks

late delivering the meat

If he doesn't get that by noon

tomorrow, more heads are gonna roll

- You know what I mean?

- No problem

Do you love me?

- Where you headed? San Diego?

- Mexico

- You have a good flight

- Thanks a lot

Do you love me? Do you love me?

Do you love me? Do you love me?

How you doing?

Thank you, thanks

Step over here please

Gun! She's got a gun!

I don't even own a gun!

- Hey, kid, is this yours?

- Yeah

Do me a favor, will you?

Put that right under the seat

And see maybe if you

can keep that right near you

I got some

important stuff in this bag

I'd like to keep it close by

me, you know what I mean?

Thanks, that's really nice of you

- Good kid, thank you

- Okay

Atta boy, fits right under there

No, it doesn't fit right under there

Maybe you can get a spot in

another bin, thanks, I appreciate that

It's nice of you

Excuse me

Careful, careful

I almost didn't make it

Well, I'm sure that

someone is glad you did

Let's see, 49C, right down this way


- Excuse me, sir, is this yours?

- Yeah

I'm sorry, we'll need

to use this compartment

Would you mind using another one?

Because I have

valuable family heirlooms in there

Sir, as you can plainly see,

this is an emergency situation

Well, maybe you can

use somebody else's bin

I mean, this kid's not using all of his

Would you mind if

they used some of yours?

Hey, excuse me, but screw you

Hey, hey, come on,

be nice, be a gentleman, will you?

We're trying to help over here,

here, let me help you

This goes right

over here, it's small

That's okay, thanks, don't... don't?

Wait! Wait! Don't kick it!

For God's sake,

those are live human organs!

Trust me, pal, they don't feel it

Would you sit down please?

Sir, I'm really sorry about that

- Sir, we're gonna have to use your bin

- Excuse me? But?

And actually, sir, I think

your bag is over the size limit

Well, no, because see, the guy outside

measured this and he said that it was okay

Sir, it's clearly over the size

limit, it will have to go in cargo

Listen, wait a minute, wait a minute?

Hold on, hold on a second, listen

Maybe we could just leave

my bag where it is, all right?

Are you trying to bribe me, sir?

No. I'm trying to purchase

a place for my bag, which I already...

The place for your bag is in cargo, sir

Excuse me, maybe

I'll just take another flight

Fine, the next flight to

San Diego leaves in seven hours, sir

All right, let me make a phone call

Sir, do you actually think that we're gonna

hold the plane while you use the phone

Now, are you flying with us tonight or not?

- All right, Miss Burke?

- Yes

- That's your name, right?

- Yes

This bag better be in San Diego,

you'll be in a lot of trouble if it's not

Yes, sir, it will be the very first off the plane

Does that make you happy?

- When it's there, then I'll be happy

- Okay

Have a seat, sir, thank you

Happy? Yeah, I'm happy, I'm thrilled


What are you looking at?

You started all this with those friggin' organs

You're happy, right?

Happy, who's happy?

Look, I think we got off

on the wrong foot, I'm Charlie

So, where you headed?

I'm gonna meet my girlfriend's parents

She races these cars

She's great, she's great!

I wish her parents thought the same of me,

I'm on my way to meet them for the first time

I haven't seen her in like six months, and...

Yeah, well, I'm gonna go to sleep

Think about what

you're gonna say to them, okay?

Yeah, I don't know, because

I mean I haven't even met them

Already the father,

he doesn't like me, I know

I could understand that,

I just met you and I don't like you either

I got to sleep, didn't

you hear me? Come on

I'm just trying to make conversation, but...

Good, make it in sign language


- Something wrong?

- No

- You look great

- Thanks

- What is the matter?

- Nothing, let's talk about it later


Oh, no. No, Jesus, please, no!

Charlie Pritchett! Sh*t!

What do you have in there?

It looks like you packed for a month

You know me, ready for anything

- Oh, boy, look at this loser

- Honey! Be nice now, come on

Charlie, these are my parents,

Annette and Dick

- Annette

- Charlie, it's a real pleasure

Dick, very nice to meet you, this is for you

Oh, these wrappings

are beautiful, thank you

Oh, my God! Dick, I left yours on the plane...

No, no, no, why don't you call the airlines?

We got a long ride,

we've got to make tracks


Woodgy, why don't

you ride shotgun with your dad?

Wudji? Wudji like me to drive?

I think I can handle it

No... no... Jesus

House of pain

- Yeah, hello, who's this?

- This is Qaddafi, who's this?

Qaddafi, huh? Listen, this is Bill,

I'm an old friend of Charlie Pritchett's

I was wondering

if you could help me find him

Yeah, he's gone on spring

break with the rest of America

- Did you try looking in Mexico?

- That's very funny

Look, this is really important

You think you could be

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Tom Schulman

Thomas H. Schulman (born October 20, 1951 in Nashville) is an American screenwriter best known for his semi-autobiographical screenplay for Dead Poets Society. The film won the Best Screenplay Academy Award for 1989, and was nominated for Best Picture and Best Director (Peter Weir). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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