
13 Sins
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And last but not least, to Susan
"The Steamroller" Purtree
for putting this all together.
And now, finally, at long last,
as some of you may be saying,
it is my honor, my privilege,
my personal pleasure
to present to you the
man of every hour,
University of Perth's own
Professor Edgar Solomon.
Hear, hear!
Thank you. Sincerely.
A bear taking a dump
asked a rabbit,
"Does shit stick to
your fur as a habit?"
"Of course not," said the hare,
so the bear wiped his
ass with the rabbit.
There once was a lady named Dot...
who lived off of pig shit and snot.
When she ran out of these,
she ate the green cheese...
that she grew on the sides...
of her twat.
Oh, my God.
Are you all right? You OK?
- I'm so sorry.
- OK.
Edgar? What are
you doing? Oh, my...!
Stop!
- Hands over your head, sir!
- Just one moment.
Please, sir, don't
reach in your jacket!
AAMQ debt acquisitions,
regarding the balance on
This is an attempt
to collect a debt.
If you do not pay your
outstanding bill...
your power will be cut off
by noon Friday, July...
Hello? Hi, I'm here. And I might
be able to pay you today.
get some good news.
- I think you're gonna get it.
- Oh, stop jinxing it.
- It's unjinxable. You got it.
- Stop saying that.
- Too bad.
- Just tie my lucky tie.
Senior sales representative.
Honey, when's the last time Kopeckny
asked you in for a meeting one on one?
- Never.
- So there.
If I get this promotion, we
are so going on a honeymoon.
Who needs a honeymoon?
After this weekend we'll be married.
You'll ask, "Where's the remote?"
But I mean like a husband asking
his wife where is the remote.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Yes?
- What about the kid?
The kid.
Geez.
All right. Senior sales
representative, here I come!
Sir, I'm just trying to understand.
You're firing me?
I made more sales
than ever last month.
And you're still not producing.
What does that tell you?
Explain to me what
happened yesterday.
I made the sale.
The woman was interested
in the gold plan.
- You talked her out of it.
- Wh...
You talked her out
of the gold plan.
I sold Ms. Palmer a policy that was
appropriate to her age and income.
I didn't feel like I should
take advantage... of her.
That's what we do here?
- We take advantage of people?
- No. No, not at all.
- That's not what I meant.
- I got it.
- Sir...
- No, I got it. I do, really.
We shame you. You're
too pure for this job.
Please, I cannot lose this
job right now. Sir...
My brother is mentally disabled,
and if I lose this job,
I'm going to lose my insurance.
And if I lose my insurance,
I'm not gonna be able to
afford his outpatient care
and they're gonna
re-institutionalize him.
Sounds like you have a lot
You got this brother.
You're getting married,
having a baby.
Yeah.
You realize the same things
that make you a lousy salesman
are going to f*ck
you up as a father?
Or a husband, for that matter.
I mean, you're marrying this girl.
refuses to get his hands dirty,
who lacks the balls
to ever really lay it on the
line for her or her child.
If you think I'm being unfair,
tell me to go to hell.
Like a man. Huh?
Mm-mm-mm...
Vince... get him out of here.
No, no, no. OK, 'cause...
they'll send me back to Bayview.
And I can't go back to Bayview. They
lock the doors on you at Bayview.
- I know.
- Then you have to say a promise to me,
that you promise me I don't
have to go back there.
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"13 Sins" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 14 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/13_sins_1550>.