13 Cameras

Synopsis: Claire and Ryan, a newlywed couple, move into a new house across the country, only to find out that their marital issues are the least of their problems. Unbeknownst to them, Their grim and lascivious landlord has been spying on them from day one.
 
IMDB:
5.1
Metacritic:
41
Rotten Tomatoes:
77%
TV-MA
Year:
2015
87 min
334 Views


[CLICKING]

[RADIO TRANSMISSION STATIC]

[CLICKING]

[CLICKING]

[MAN] FIBER OPTICS.

NOW, IT'S A LITTLE BIT

MORE EXPENSIVE,

BUT IN TERMS OF HOME SECURITY,

IT'S TOP OF THE LINE.

1080p, BACKUP BATTERIES,

AND THEY'RE

PRACTICALLY INVISIBLE.

THERE IS NOTHING

MORE OFF-PUTTING

THAN INVITING:

SOME FOLKS OVER:

TO YOUR PLACE,

THEY SEE ONE OF THESE ANCIENT,

CONVENIENT STORE CAMERAS,

POINTING DIRECTLY

AT THEM AS THEY'RE WAITING

OUT ON YOUR FRONT PORCH.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

WHO WANTS THAT?

NO ONE.

THESE LITTLE:

GUYS RIGHT HERE,

THEY CAN BE HIDDEN

ALMOST ANYWHERE.

"DISCRETION"

IS THE NAME OF THE GAME.

THEY CAN BE INDOOR,

THEY CAN BE OUTDOOR,

UNDERWATER, ANYWHERE.

OKAY, NOW,

I WOULDN'T PUT 'EM IN THE BOTTOM

OF YOUR TOILET BOWL,

OR ANYTHING-- [LAUGHS]

UNLESS YOU'RE INTO

THAT SORT OF THING.

YOU SEEM LIKE:

A REASONABLE GUY.

WHY DON'T

WE HOOK YOU UP?

[BREAKS SQUEAK]

[DRILLING]

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

CALL HIM AGAIN.

HE'S ON HIS WAY,

CALM DOWN.

I'M STARVING.

I'M TIRED.

I'M CARRYING

A BOWLING BALL WITH ME.

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

- YIKES.

- NO F***ING WAY.

JESUS. CLAIRE, STOP.

COME ON. COME ON.

[LOWERED VOICE]

YOU'RE KIDDING ME.

-HI, HOW YOU DOING?

-[MAN] UH-HUH.

[WHISPERING]

THERE ARE BODIES BURIED

IN THE BACKYARD.

- [WHISPERING] STOP.

- [MUMBLING]

-[MAN #2] OH, WOW.

-[WOMAN] OH.

[WOMAN] THIS FIREPLACE

IS ACTUALLY NICE.

[MAN #1] FIREPLACE,

WOOD FLOORS...

INLAID BEAMS.

[WHISPERING]

DO YOU SMELL THAT?

IT SMELLS LIKE A DIRTY DIAPER.

JESUS CLAIRE, SHUT UP.

-ALL THESE

APPLIANCES NEW?

-[MAN #1] YEP.

- [MAN #2] YOU DID ALL

THE REMODELING YOURSELF?

- [MAN #1] MM-HMM.

[MAN #2] I'M NOT MUCH OF A

HANDYMAN MYSELF, I CAN HARDLY

CHANGE A TIRE.

[WOMAN] WOW.

[MAN #1] OFFICE,

OWNERS CLOSET,

GUEST BEDROOM,

AND THE MASTER BEDROOM.

IS THERE AN ATTIC,

OR A BASEMENT, OR ANYTHING?

NO.

AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH DOGS?

UH-HUH.

YOU MIND IF WE LOOK AROUND

ON OUR OWN?

NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

- SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- I CAN'T BREATHE IN THERE.

WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE WE HAVE TO

LIVE WITH THE GUY, JUST HOLD

YOUR BREATH WHENEVER

HE COMES TO FIX:

THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL.

IT'S LIKE

SPOILED MAYONNAISE.

UGH!

I FEEL LIKE IT'S ON ME.

IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO HIRE

AN EXORCIST.

JUST RELAX.

IT'S A COOL HOUSE.

UGH!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

-OH, MY GOD.

-YOU GOT IT?

YEAH.

-YOU GUYS OKAY?

-DON'T TURN IT.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[BIRDS SQUEAKING]

[WOMAN]

YOU DON'T BUY A PREGNANT LADY

A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE

FOR HER HOUSE-WARMING GIFT.

-IT'S STUPID.

-IT'S NOT STUPID.

THEY'RE GONNA BE

TOTALLY COOL WITH IT.

IT'S NOT

A HOUSE-WARMING PARTY,

IT'S JUST A BIG

GET-TOGETHER THING.

YOU GOTTA GO:

TO CRATE AND BARREL

EVERY TIME SOMEBODY

MOVES INTO A HOUSE?

GIVE ME A F***ING BREAK.

-[WOMAN] HEY!

-HEY!

HEY.

[WOMAN]

GOOD, REALLY GOOD.

YEAH. I'M NOT VOMITING

EVERY MORNING:

LIKE I WAS:

IN THE FIRST TRIMESTER.

BUT I'VE JUST BEEN NESTING,

AND I DON'T KNOW,

I'M-- I'M REALLY EXCITED

-TO MEET THIS LITTLE PERSON.

-THAT'S GREAT.

THAT'S NOT TO SAY

I DON'T MISS HAVING

A DRINK SOMETIMES.

[CORK POPS]

-SH*T, I AM SO SORRY.

-OH, NO.

OH, NO.

NO. I'M-- I'M SORRY.

I-- I DIDN'T THINK

IT WOULD TAKE HIM THIS LONG.

[MAN] JESUS,

THE F***ING TRAFFIC

IN THIS TOWN.

-YOU NEED A HAND?

-YEAH, YOU MIND?

-THE TRUNK'S OPEN.

-NO PROBLEM.

THANKS, MAN.

HEY, SORRY.

NIGHTMARE OF TODAY.

-THREE HOURS?

-I KNOW, IT'S THE TRAFFIC.

GETTING OUT OF THE CITY

IS BRUTAL.

PAUL AND AUDRY:

GOT HERE FINE.

WELL, I'M THE NEW GUY,

I CAN'T BE CUTTING OUT

EARLY LIKE PAUL.

-IS THIS SWORDFISH?

-YEAH, IT WAS ON SALE.

RYAN, I--

I CAN'T EAT THIS.

WHY NOT?

THERE'S MERCURY

IN SWORDFISH.

CLAIRE, IT'S FINE.

MY MOM SMOKED A PACK A DAY

WHEN SHE HAD ME.

A LITTLE FISH:

ISN'T GONNA KILL YOU.

RIGHT.

[CLAIRE] HE'S JUST CREEPY.

EVERY TIME I'D LOOK UP,

HE'D BE STARING AT ME.

HE WASN'T LOOKING IN HERE.

HE'S JUST AN OLD MAN.

HE'S A CREEPY OLD MAN.

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIM.

THE WAY HE SMELLED.

OH, MY GOD, YOU COULD TASTE IT.

YOU KNOW HE'S GOT A KEY

TO YOUR PLACE, RIGHT?

PAUL.

JESUS, I DIDN'T

EVEN THINK OF THAT.

WHAT IF I'M ALONE HERE

AND HE LETS HIMSELF IN?

HE CAN'T COME IN UNLESS HE GIVES

US A DAYS NOTICE.

CALM DOWN.

-WE HAVE TO CHANGE THE LOCKS.

-YEP.

WE'RE NOT CHANGING THE LOCKS,

ALL RIGHT? THANKS, PAL.

[PAUL CHUCKLES]

I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

IT'S DEFINITELY NOT AS BAD

AS THE FIRST TRIMESTER.

-YEAH?

-LIKE, I'M NOT AS WORRIED

SHE'S GONNA

MURDER ME IN MY SLEEP.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

JESUS CHRIST,

I GUESS THAT'S PROGRESS.

HONESTLY, I'M JUST TRYING

TO STAY FOCUSED ON WORK.

YOU GUYS:

SEEM GOOD TONIGHT.

WE'RE NOT FIGHTING.

WE'RE NOT REALLY

DOING ANYTHING.

SHE'S GOT A BUNCH OF SH*T SHE

WANTS TO DO BEFORE THE BABY

COMES,

SO, I COME HOME,

AND I PAINT ROOMS,

OR LOOK AT FURNITURE,

I WATCH THOSE:

HOUSE RENOVATION SHOWS

AND SHE TELLS ME

WHAT SHE LIKES,

AND I SMILE AND NOD,

AND WE DON'T FIGHT.

IT DOESN'T SOUND THAT BAD.

SHE'S A GREAT ROOMMATE

AND THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT.

ARE YOU GUYS STILL

NOT HAVING SEX?

[CHUCKLES]

TAKE A WILD GUESS.

MAYBE SHE'S JUST SCARED

YOU'LL POKE THE BABY.

[CHUCKLES] MAYBE.

IT'LL GET BETTER.

WHY IS IT ALWAYS SO MUCH BETTER

IN THE BEGINNING?

BECAUSE SHE HASN'T HEARD

ALL YOUR SHITTY JOKES YET.

I MEAN, EVENTUALLY

SHE'S BOUND TO FIND OUT

YOU'RE NOT THAT FUNNY.

-[CHUCKLES]

-YOU'RE NOT THAT COOL.

IF YOU STOP TRYING SO HARD,

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Victor Zarcoff

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "13 Cameras" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/13_cameras_1539>.

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