$50K and a Call Girl: A Love Story Page #4

Please don't bring

a prostitute on this trip.

- Why not?

- Because it's just nasty.

Baby, he's joking.

- No, no...

- ... He is?

- ... No, Seth, I'm not joking.

If you guys are going together,

then I'm going

to bring a f***ing call girl.

- Please don't!

- Why?

They're just like

a porn movie every day.

"Fall in love

and get married."

Okay, no,

that one I was kidding about.

Like, obviously... I'm not...

I'm dying in a f***ing month!

Yeah, I'm gonna get married

and start a 401k

and have some grandkids.

Maybe even settle down,

Midwest.

I didn't have any more

space to fill on that thing.

Baby.

- What?

Please, please,

be nicer to him.

I am trying, but, ugh!

A prostitute?

"yeah,

I think it's a good idea."

It's so annoying.

- All rules are off.

- All rules are off? All

rules are off, he's dying.

To put something on the

bucket list, it's McGriddles.

If you can grab maybe four of

those and some hash browns,

it would be awesome.

They're not-I mean,

I would have to do it

after work.

"THE LIGHTS HAVE GONE OUT"]

So, anyways,

Seth is coming, who you met.

His fiancee, Lauren is coming,

and the reason why I brought

you here is I was wondering

if you would want to go too?

On the road trip?

- Yes.

- With you guys?

- With all of us.

And maybe a couple

of camera crew guys.

They're gonna shoot

a documentary

the last three days

of my life, whatever.

What's in it for me?

- Uh... I don't know, five grand?

- Ten grand.

I pull, like, two grand a week.

You're gonna be

taking me away from that.

Look, I'll tell you this.

I'll give you five grand now,

and when I die you get my car.

- Your car?

- Yes.

What kind of car is it?

Jesus, it's, uh,

2002 Chevy Tahoe.

It's got a

Spanish-language GPS in it.

You're gonna be... that's just

you, you're gonna have it.

If... I did this, which I'm not

saying I'm going to...

...there would have to be

rules.

Like a hooker handbook?

Yeah, like a hooker handbook.

You haven't seen Pretty Woman?

Please.

Tell me you've seen

Pretty Woman

and don't be an a**hole.

- I've seen Pretty Woman.

- Okay, so you know.

Rule number one:

No kissing on the lips.

If you want to kiss anywhere

else, that's your deal.

And number two:

I get paid up front.

All right, fine. If you

have rules, I have rules.

Oh, yeah,

like what?

Like... no talking about death

or dying or disease

or anything like that.

I already know what's

in store for me,

re-hashing every single day,

okay?

Um, I'm gonna lose my vision,

pretend I'm drunk.

I'm going to... lose my balance,

pretend I'm drunk.

I'm gonna vomit, like a lot.

- Pretend you're drunk, okay.

- Exactly.

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