Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Synopsis: Zack and Miri are two lifelong platonic friends who make an adult film to pay the rent of their apartment. With their friend Delaney, the couple set out for auditionees for their porn film, but in the process of filming, they realize they feel more for each other than they had before.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Kevin Smith
Production: The Weinstein Company
  2 wins & 4 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
101 min

Why complicate that with sex?

Besides man,

I've know her since the first grade.

You don't f*ck someone you've met

in the first grade.

Excuse me, I've met my wife

in kinder garden

We got married in Senior year and she has been

the queen of my world ever since.

-But what if you could do it all over again?

- I would jerk off and live by myself.

- That woman is the ban of my existence.

- See!

Excuse me, can I get a cup of coffee?


- Can't you see we're talking, White?

If you're gonna continue to emasculate me

with this barbie dress up shit

-I'm using your laptop.

- Don't forget to smack it when you turn it on

otherwise the screen doesn't come on.

-Why don't you spring get a new one of these?

- Same reason I don't spring for clothes

for tonight:
I'm broke.

There's a chick who works at Teen Juice

at the mall, you know

And I gave her a good deal in Yearn's so

she's letting me borrow this stuff for tonight.


A vibrator online.

-What's wrong with the one you have?

- It died last week.

Look at the size of those fucking panties.

Shoot that shit, shoot it.

Who even knew Amazon sold

shit like this. This is incredible!

Those are fucking granny panties.

Okay, A:
I don't appreciate you violating the

sanctity of my Amazon wish list page

And B:
I'm not buying that thing on Amazon,

because turns out the over credit card they take

Oh shit.

I'm sorry guys, am I in the way?

You're fucking fagot alright.

Let's go to Starbucks.

And he throws like a bitch.

You know what else I throw: my nuts sacking

your coffees, so how does that taste fucker?

We saw your girl friend

in her under wear.

Well, too bad she's not my girl friend

you little fucker..

Are you still talking to me?

Just said I'm gonna look up

more f*ck toys on Amazon.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Kevin Smith

Kevin Patrick Smith (born August 2, 1970) is an American filmmaker, actor, comedian, public speaker, comic book writer, author, and podcaster. He came to prominence with the low-budget comedy Clerks (1994), which he wrote, directed, co-produced, and acted in as the character Silent Bob of stoner duo "Jay & Silent Bob". Jay and Silent Bob have appeared in Smith's follow-up films Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back which were mostly all set in his home state of New Jersey. While not strictly sequential, the films frequently featured crossover plot elements, character references, and a shared canon described by fans as the "View Askewniverse", named after his production company View Askew Productions, which he co-founded with Scott Mosier. more…

All Kevin Smith scripts | Kevin Smith Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018


Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Português (Portuguese)
  • Deutsch (German)
  • العربية (Arabic)
  • Français (French)
  • Русский (Russian)
  • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • 한국어 (Korean)
  • עברית (Hebrew)
  • Український (Ukrainian)
  • اردو (Urdu)
  • Magyar (Hungarian)
  • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italiano (Italian)
  • தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Türkçe (Turkish)
  • తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Čeština (Czech)
  • Polski (Polish)
  • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Românește (Romanian)
  • Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latinum (Latin)
  • Svenska (Swedish)
  • Dansk (Danish)
  • Suomi (Finnish)
  • فارسی (Persian)
  • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English (English)

Discuss this Zack and Miri Make a Porno script with the community:


Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


"Zack and Miri Make a Porno" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 30 May 2020. <>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.