Zack and Miri Make a Porno Page #2

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Holy sh*t, at least they have

a flash light here too.

-What's that?

- It's a f***ing pocket p*ssy

That is shaped like a flash light for

discretionary jacking off.

That when you get caught no-one

thinks it's weird, you're just a guy

who likes to f*** his flash light.

-I'm totally buying this sh*t.

- Wow, if you got money to burn..

How about paying the electric bill?

-It's due already?

- Well, November's probably but

I was talking about September's.

Tell me, this doesn't rock.

Kinda look like you're f***ing Ronald McDonald.

That makes me want some McNuggets.

Why would you wanna buy a pocket p*ssy anyway?

That is so sad.

What? Excuse me, I forgot about the nobility that

a company is coming with a f***ing vibrator.

Real, seal, action.. Oh my God, if you start

f***ing little machines

I'm moving out.

What do you think a vibrator is?

It's a little machine.

How come you get to f*** something with

a motor in it, and I can't?

Cause I've never met a man who can make

me come like a vibrator does.

That is f***ing bullshit.

...ball of jerkings in the bathroom?

Holy Jesus, you do not use

my jerkings to jack in our bathroom.

No you know what I do actually,

is I light bunch of candles

And I sprawl out on my sheets

and I listen to Sting.

Now I'm a guy.. Give me two popsicle sticks and

a rubber band, I'll find a way to f*** it

Like a filthy McGyver.

- Oh my God, I'm so glad I'm not a guy.

-How about this?

- I don't get why you're putting so

much effort in this thing anyway?

I thought we were like, just gonna go sit

around and make fun of everybody.

Well, I can't wear anything that I've already on

and expect to bring home Bobby Long.

Bobby f***ing Long? No way!

Didn't that guy call you Stinky Linky?

Yeah that was then, okay? Maybe now

he can save me a fortune in Amazon bills.

Maybe you can f*** our landlord, so we can

at least keep roof over our heads.

You don't have the rent?

Zack, it's your month.

Hey, I bought skates with last week's pay check

and I need those, to skate with.

And this week's I'll barely cover

the past two water bills so..

Is this sexy?

Yeah, in like to a catch a predator

kind of way it is pretty f***ing sexy.

Then we're done.

Zack.

You want me to come in?

- What happened to the water?

They shut it off.

- Oh sh*t, just..

Help me get this sh*t out off my hair.

Just use the water out of the toilet.

There's poo in there.

Not that part!

The back part of the toilet thing.

Take that cup there and then put in, there you go.

Here I'll just lean back if you could just

You know, pour it down like that.

Don't look, don't look.

Alright, one hour tops and then we're gone.

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