What Love Is

Synopsis: Tom plans to surprise Sara with an engagement ring, and he's asked his four best friends to witness the popping of the question at his place on Valentine's night. Trouble is Sara's left him a "Dear John" letter and will be by soon for her suitcases; plus, thinking it's a party, Tom's friend Sal has invited five women who were at his bar to come too. First the men talk - about women, sex, love, and homophobia (Tom's pals include a happily married guy, a gay man newly engaged, a metrosexual, and Sal, an inveterate player). Then the women arrive and argue in the loo about men and sex before joining the boys for talk, alcohol, and hookups. But what of Sara, and what of love?
Genre: Comedy, Romance
93 min

she comes in with this big,

muscle-bound beach guy,

trying to make me jealous.

Me. Ha.

Gino points 'em out, and I'm

a bit sauced up at this point,

and I walk over

and I say, "hey,

you're not really with this

hippie-fied fag, are you?"

He stands up and says,

"what'd you say?"

I pulled back my jacket

just enough

so he can see my piece

and I said,

"I just called you

a cockeyed-loving,


hippie-fied-looking fag.

Now what are you gonna do?"

Holy shit. What did he do?

What can he do? His tanned ass

turned white as a ghost

and made like Ralph Kramden...

homina-homina-homina. Heh.

So I go back

to drinking.

Gino comes over later and says,

"will you look at that?"

And there is Fabio making out

with Columbo all over my bar.

Whatever. So I finish up

my whiskey and I walk over.

I slap Tarzan, and I say...

Holy shit.

"Antonio Banderas, you know,

you're kissing my old girl. "

And he says, "yeah?"

I say, "yeah.

How's my cock taste?"

Holy shit.

So I strolled up out of there,

I grabbed myself a bottle

of maker's and here I am.

Ha-ha-ha. Holy shit.

And she was kissing

that Fabio guy

right there in front of you?


The two of you broke up

this morning?

I broke up with her.

Now, why they do that?

Women are supposed

to be sensitive.

Women fucking suck.

You think so?

No, some suck,

but few suck well.

I cannot tell you the last time

I had a halfway-decent blowjob.

Must admit, it is a lost art.

I stop 'em half the time.

I'm, like, "yo, yo, yo.

It ain't a fucking artichoke,

all right?"


And the funny thing is...

These women think

they're so fantastic at it.

I cannot tell you how many times

in my life I've heard,

"oh, baby, you cannot handle me.

I will rock your world. "

Then it comes time

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Mars Callahan

Mars Callahan (born 1971) is an American actor, film director, producer and writer.He is perhaps best known for the film Poolhall Junkies where he served as director, actor and screenwriter.At the age of eleven, Callahan toured with a children's musical group through thirty-seven states. At fifteen he received his first acting role in the television series The Wonder Years. After honing his acting skills in television he tried for the big screen and soon appeared in various films. Inspired by the directors he worked with Callahan decided to try working behind the camera and in 1998 shot his first short film The Red Bag. In a 2007 interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Callahan revealed that he has had serious health problems when doctors found a tumor in his right kidney. He lost his right kidney and right adrenal gland, and has been in and out of a wheelchair for years.Callahan cashed in 94th place in the 2011 World Series of Poker main event, earning $64,531. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "What Love Is" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 24 Nov. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/what_love_is_23278>.

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