Welcome to Me

Synopsis: Alice suffers from borderline personality disorder, but she has what she needs in life. She has an apartment, she has a best friend, and she has tapes of every Oprah Winfrey show. And now, after winning the lottery, she also has 83 million dollars. What she doesn't have is an outlet for the whole world to know who she really is. The TV station cut her off when she tried turning her lottery announcement into a frank discussion of her sexual experiences, but with her money in hand, she's off to LA to convince two struggling TV producer brothers to produce her own TV show. Whatever it costs, she's going to do it. From swan entrances to dog neutering, she is going to introduce the world to Alice. But is the world ready for Alice?
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Shira Piven
Production: Alchemy
  1 win & 2 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
87 min

And I've been using masturbation

as a sedative since 1991.

We're unable to show you the rest.

Yesterday was a...

They cut me off.

- Hello?

- What...

Hi, Ted. Alice, it's Ted.

He saw you on the news.

- They cut me off.

- Yeah, she's mad they cut her speech off.

- She sounds bad.

- She's about a 7.5 and climbing.

- You don't have to stay.

- Somebody has to stay.

- They cut me off.

- Okay. Later, tater.


You hungry?

I'm going to take an iodine bath.

It's my new thing. I'm managing my moods

by living a high protein lifestyle.

What's going on with the Abilify?

I have a prepared statement.


"Dear Daryl, it's been

a good run, Daryl,

"but as I will no longer be collecting

disability from the State of California,

"our visits are no longer mandatory.

"I appreciate everything

you have done for me,

"but as a new member

of the rich and famous,

I simply don't have time for the pain."

Well, I have something

I'd like to read, too.

"My dear Alice,

I would be happy to discuss the logistical

details of our new relationship,

"a relationship which gives me great pride

when I reflect on the ground

that we have covered.

"Since the psycho-pharmacological

value of string cheese in the treatment

"of borderline personality disorder is not,

to my knowledge, even in clinical trials,

"I would encourage you to reconsider

walking away from the good

and necessary work that we do."

Why did you stop your medication?

It's a new era.

Eighty-six million-dollar Alice.

Do you really want to stop seeing me?




What do you want to do, Alice?

Something really big.

I'm moving today.



If I paid you...

would you give me

a clean-bill health, mentally?

Thanks for choosing

our casino, Miss Klieg.

- So, how long do you plan on staying?

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    "Welcome to Me" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 13 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/welcome_to_me_23214>.

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