Welcome to Me Page #2

- Indefinitely.

Do you allow pets here?

Well, I'm sure we can work

something out.

- Do you have a dog?

- No.

What's the matter, sweetie?

Located at the beautiful

Palm Springs area.

Nothing.

What I'm suggesting,

is a more of a less idea.

A five-dollar tip for you.

Just ask Ted for a little advice,

small amount,

- about what to do with your money.

- I don't need any help, Mommy.

No hand? Oh, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

- Sorry, Mom.

- It's all right.

Teddy.

- Welcome to my new home.

- This must be your Alice.

- This is Derick.

- Hi, it's so nice to fina... Okay.

This is... this is my best friend, Gina.

- I'm her Gina. Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

Those two sour pussies

over there are my parents.

This is Derick, Ted's male lover.

Isn't that good?

- Hi, hi.

- Hi.

If it weren't for you,

I don't know what we would do.

- I always knew about Ted.

- What?

When we were married.

By the way he f***ed me.

I get it.

So...

how does it feel to be a millionaire?

I have a prepared statement.

Prepared statement.

Okay.

Here's what I want to say.

Cause. Okay?

Effect. Okay?

"I want each of you

to understand that...

"you can have what I have right now

if you really believe it.

- You too can have a new life."

- New life.

New life.

"And as I begin my new life,

I must reflect on the love and inspiration

each of you has given me."

I love you, guys.

Sh*t, I didn't want to cry until the end.

A toast to Alice and her new life.

New life.

To my new life.

Let's hope.

I'm going to get shrimp.

...it's harvested in Ecuador,

where the locals call it La Madre

or The Mother.

Smoothies are such a great way

to load up on powerful nutrition.

Every single particle of Live Alchemy

contains coded blueprints

that actually rewrite your DNA.

So, who's ready for a new life?

This has been a live broadcast from the

headquarters of New Vibrance Studios.

If you're interested in being a member

of our studio audience,

please contact the number below.

Live for Palm Desert, California,

welcome to Live Alchemy.

You can't put yogurt

in waste baskets. Okay?

I know, but then, you can't just

let it be there. It's disgusting.

Good to see you.

Welcome to Live Alchemy.

I'm Gabe Ruskin.

Now, what if I were to tell you

one teaspoon of Live Alchemy

contains more usable protein

than a 16-ounce sirloin steak.

- Well, get ready to pan to the audience.

- It's true. What if I were to tell you...

...that in 100 years, our main source

of food would be algae?

Now.

I would believe it.

Hey, hey, wow. We got a live one.

And I wouldn't lie to you. Now...

We're all used to healthy food

tasting like dirt, right?

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