Tom and Viv Page #3

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Nothing?

Nothing at all?

I really am rather proud of you.

I don't condone anything, but all in

all I feel you've behaved very well.

And you are discrete, I sense that.

Yes, I think you're going to make

a wonderful member of the family.

Bertie Russell says that war is a crime.

He says that killing in uniform

is merely licensed murder.

Oh thanks very much.

What do you think, Tom?

Not at the dinner table please, Vivienne.

Of course.

Millions of young men are going to die and it

mustn't interfere with the cream of broccoli.

Good lord, is that what it is?

Bertie Russell says war must be abolished.

Bertie's Tom's friend.

He paid for all my dance lessons.

Your friend wants to go to bed with me,

did you know that, Tom?

He seems keen, even if you're not.

That's enough.

You should tell him what it would be like.

These are my men, Tom and Bertie.

But they can't always communicate.

I unlock their minds!

Could you hear yourself shouting

in there, could you?

Now... very calm.

Very still.

Have you taken your medicine?

How often is Granny visiting you?

- I thought Granny was dead.

- Very well then.

How often do you get the curse?

- Two or three times.

- In a month?

Sometimes in a week.

Tom's not quite what I

imagined a poet to be.

- Was he a virgin?

- He most certainly was!

It can't be easy for a new husband.

No.

Have you enough ST's?

Yes Mummy, I have enough sanitary towels

to make a patchwork quilt.

- In two colours.

- Please Vivienne, try not to be vulgar.

There is never any occasion for it.

Life is quite vile enough as it is.

Oh it's all right, Mummy.

You don't have to worry anymore.

Because whatever else happens,

I've got Tom.

He's mine.

And you can't stop it now.

"You see here on the sill is a boot

mark, a heavy boot with broad metal heel...

...and beside it is the

mark of the timber-toe."

Ah, a wooden-legged man of course...

There's always a wooden-legged man!

Was there one in the last one?

"There has been someone else,

a very able and efficient ally.

Doctor, could you scale this wall?"

LAUGHING:

Yes, but not quite the same without

that Moriarty chap, though.

Here we are, Vivvie!

"I looked out the open window

The moon shone brightly

on that angle of the house.

We were a good sixty feet above the ground,

but look where I would

there was no foothold, nor as

much as a crevice in the brickwork..."

Oh, careful!

Hey!

Ha, ha, ha!

LIVELY MUSIC PLAYS

You can't fall over my feet.

Ha, ha, ha!

I never know... when it's going to strike.

It's overwork, as the doctor says.

No, you think you write best

when you get sick

so you make yourself sick,

you know you do.

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