The Twelve Chairs Page #2

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Done. Come on.

What are you doing in Stargorod?

You look to me like a Muscovite.

Listen, tell me. Tell me.

Who lived here in the old days?

Oh, in the old days

was my master...

Ippolit Matveyevich

Vorobyaninov.

He was a marshal

of the nobility.

I loved him.

He hardly ever beat us.

Ah. And whatever became

of your lovable master?

One night, about 10 years ago,

was a fearful noise.

It was bombs and cannons

and soldiers shooting.

It was terrible, terrible.

Oh, yes.

I think it was called the revolution.

That was it. The revolution.

You're smart.

You're smart and you're gorgeous.

You're okay.

Anyways...

they all run away.

Well, come on,

old boy.

Let us see

how drunk...

two Russians can get

on one ruble.

I like that.

Two Russians, one ruble.

Ah. Ivan, fetch

the marshal's horse.

He's coming.

He's coming.

Master.

I love him.

I love him.

Please, dear, hurry home.

But don't gallop.

"Don't gallop."

Do you hear that, Petya?

"Don't gallop,"

but "Hurry home."

That's your job. You'll have to puzzle it out.

It's too much for me.

[Ivanovna]

Ippolit, take care.

Don't drink too much,

and don't gamble.

And stay away

from the gypsies.

- Ils sont voleurs.

- Chre maman, restez calme.

Tout va bien.

Tikon, you idiot, my gloves.

There, master.

I love him.

I love him.

[Birds Twittering]

[Door Opens]

Here's your castle.

Drink vodka, we talk.

We have some fun.

You know what we can...

do.

Master?

Tikon.

Master?

Is it really him?

It's impossible!

It can't be!

It can't be!

It can't be!

It can't be!

Oh, ma...

[Groans]

Oh, that's him.

That's him.

That's my master.

- [Both Laughing]

- Oh, master, master.

- Here, Tikon.

- Oh, so good to see you.

Here is a ruble. You go have some vodka,

and you don't come back for a bit.

- Vodka.

- Your master and I have business to discuss.

- [Groans]

- Come on.

- Business. Business.

- Come on.

Tikon...

you're not to say a word

to anyone about my being here.

It is secret.

[Whispering]

I'm not to tell anyone my master is in Stargorod.

It's a secret.

My master told me a secret.

So...

you'd prefer to keep

your whereabouts a secret.

Very interesting.

Who are you?

What is this business

you have to discuss with me?

I have no business with you.

What do you want?

Oh, I don't know.

I guess maybe it depends

upon what you're hiding.

- Maybe this will shed a little light on the matter.

- Give me that. That's mine!

Oh, how very impressive.

This ought to fetch

quite a lot.

Please give me that paper.

It's personal property.

Oh, haven't you heard?

There is no personal property in the Soviet Union.

Everything belongs

to the people.

Will you please

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