The Tail Job Page #3

- Fire me already, you f***ing moron.

- F***ing pull over and say that, c*nt!

- F*** off!

- F***ing pull over and f***ing say that!

- That's what you got to do.

- Pull over!

- Don't worry, these things

happen on the road every day.

- F***ing pull over now!

- Don't be a f***ing dick, let me pass.

Hang on.

Woo!

- We've lost Mona!

- Don't worry, we'll catch

her, we'll catch her.

We'll go up here a couple of blocks,

we'll turn right on to Smith

and we'll meet them there.

Doesn't sound good.

- Siobhan!

Oh my God, I missed you so much!

- I missed you!

Oh my God, show me, show me!

Aww did he choose it?

- Well I made sure he knew

the one I wanted so...

- I love it, aww!

- Let's celebrate!

- To the bar!

- To the bar!

- Hey ladies, do you have ID on you?

- This is sh*t!

We've lost her, haven't we?

We're never going to catch up to Mona now.

Sh*t!

- Hey, hey don't dent the cab.

- Sorry, sorry, yeah.

Hey Trevor, the meter is still running.

- Yeah.

- Well, don't you think

you should turn it off?

- Why would I do that?

- Because I don't really think it's fair

that I should pay for

you to change a tire.

- I wouldn't have a flat tire

if I wasn't doing your tail job.

The meter stays on.

- Well maybe I'll find

another taxi to take me home.

- All right.

All right, all right,

all right, all right.

You want to be fair, we'll split it.

When the tire is on, the meter stays on.

When the tire comes off,

I'll turn the meter off.

Deal?

- Deal.

- Good.

Well.

So you're calling it quits, eh?

It's a shame.

I thought you might be my Richard Benson.

- Yeah, who is Richard Benson anyway?

- Richard Benson is the

penultimate customer.

He's a bit of a legend in the taxi world.

He's the biggest fare you can get.

Sidney to Perth, 8,000km,

$20,000 in petrol and fares

and on tope of that Richard Benson

gives you $30,000 just to stay quiet.

- That sounds a little

like a cabbie urban myth

if you ask me.

- It's not an urban myth.

- Well why wouldn't he just catch a plane?

I mean, he'd be out of pocket, what, $600?

- Paper trail.

Richard Benson can't be seen

going in or out of the state.

In fact, he doesn't even

book his cabs in advance.

He just hails them off the street.

You'll be driving along, doing a shift.

Next thing you know, gray

haired man with a big,

black sports bag will pull

you over, get in the back

and say, "Take me to Perth and back?"

- Do you know anyone who's ever

actually had Richard Benson?

- No but

a friend of my friend

Hakeem had him last year,

so you know it's probably true.

Okay.

Tire off;

meter off.

- Thank you.

- Meter on.

- I'm sorry to say I'm not going

to be your Richard Benson tonight.

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