The Tail Job

Synopsis: ###### Warning Spoilers ####### Nicholas Moore suspects his fiancé Mona is cheating on him. He's discovered intimate text messages on her phone from a man called Sio Bohan. Determined to get proof of his suspicion he hires taxi driver Trevor to follow her so he can catch her in the act. Trevor's short temper results in a road rage incident sending them off the road and off Mona's tail. With Nicholas desperate to find the truth and Trevor keen to make as much money as possible, they work together using terrible detective skills to try and make their way back to Mona. The problem with their plan is that Mona is not with some guy but with her female friend Siobhan. Nicholas and Trevor end up on a wild goose chase across Sydney. Through a series of wrong turns and bad decisions, our heroes discover there is in fact a man called Sio Bohan, who just happens to be the deadliest gangster in the city. Convinced that he is sleeping with Mona, Nicholas and Trevor risk their lives to track him dow
Genre: Action, Comedy
95 min


- I've explained this to

you two pricks already.

How f***ing thick are you?

Will someone give me a light?

I'm out of pocket,

Boogies are out of pocket

and now you a**holes are

wasting my time making me drive

all the way out here to repeat myself

for the millionth time.

When Eddy says you take a f***ing dive,

you take a f***ing dive.


tell your boss if he wastes my time again,

he'll end up losing a

little bit more than cash.

- Why don't you tell him yourself?

Is that your boss?

Look, I was just telling your

boys I'm taking care of it.

We're sorting out the finances.

All right?


hey wait a minute.

This was not my fault, mate.

You got to wait, listen to me.

Oh damn.

I can get you your money back tonight

with interest.

How much?

You just tell me how much.

What do you want from me?


I can get you whatever you want.

What the f*** is it you want!

- Respect!

- Tell you what I like, Bill Murray.

A lot of people just think

he's a comedian but he's not.

He's a dramatic actor as well.

I was watching that Hyde Park

On The Hudson the other night.

Have you seen that movie,

Hyde Park On The Hudson?

You watch and you'll laugh and you'll cry

and then you'll go, "Hang on,

"is this the guy from Caddy Shack?"

The guy who was busting

ghosts with Dan Aykroyd

now making us cry as the

president of the United States?

I'd call him the penultimate

actor of our generation.

- The second last actor of our generation?

- I don't know any other

actor who has moved

from comedy in to drama like Bill Murray.

I mean, think about it, who's

gone from comedy into drama?

- Tom Hanks.

- F***ing Tom Hanks?

Get f***ed!

When was the last time you even

laughed at a Tom Hanks film?

Big, I guess.

I don't know, I saw it when I was a kid.

It might not even be funny.

Bill Murray, he moves from comedy to drama

and then back in to comedy.

He's never done a bad film, Stripes,

Tootsie, Groundhog Day,

the one where he's lost in Tokyo.

He played himself as a

zombie in Zombieland.

He's a genius.

He's never done a bad film.

- What about Garfield?

- Yeah, thought about that.

- This is our street.

- Hang on.

I'll make a u-turn.

- Just turn left.

Just turn left over there.

- Okay, that'll be $23.50, thanks.

- No, no, no, I'm not getting out yet.

You can leave the meter on.

Do you think you could turn that off?

- You hear about this party thing?

- Huh?

- Bill Murray, late at night he gets bored

and he goes for a walk,

finds a party and he just goes in.

You could be living in New York City,

next thing you know Bill Murray

is rocking up at your party.

He's doing your dishes.

So you like this girl, huh?

- What?

No, no, this is my fiancee's house.

- Right.

- Taxi!

- Sh*t!

Oh sh*t!

Don't let her get in here.

- If you're getting out, she can get in.

- No, no, no; I'm not getting out.

I'm paying the meter, just get rid of her.

- Do you know what flag fall is?

- Flag fall?

- Flag fall, that's how I make my money.

Bums in, bums out.

Every time someone gets

in, I get another $3.50.

- I'll give you $10 over

the meter price if you...

- I don't think so.

- $20.


- Hi!

- Evening, love.

Where are you off to tonight?

- The city.

- The city, eh?

- Yeah, I've booked online.

- Is that right?

Is your name Richard Benson?

- No.

- Aww.

- Are you serious?

F***ing cabbie!

- So that's your fiancee, is it?

- Yeah, is she gone?

- Not really.

What's going on, mate?

- Nothing's going on.

- I can't be involved in anything

homicidal or illegal, so...

- No, it's nothing like that.

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Daniel James Millar

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Tail Job" STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 4 Oct. 2022. <>.

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