The Sex Monster Page #2

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would be in serious trouble.

That's it. I'm going upstairs

to write to "Penthouse".

Is he serious?

He would love it if I would

sleep with him and a woman.

Apparently, it's all he

and his buddies ever talk about.

What is it with these guys

and that stupid fantasy?

They can't please one woman,

let alone two.

Maybe that's what

the second woman is for...

to do half the work.

Diva, did the mail come?

Mmm - yes.

And I'm sorry, but they're all bills.

Well, I can handle them, okay?

Once Billy finishes this house...

those lots are gonna sell like crazy.

I'm not worried.

Nothing fazes you, Marty.

I'll tell you what fazes me...

- You marrying that ski bum...

- I'll bet.

It does... I'm concerned,

can't you tell?

How's he gonna support you,

this guy?

What's the pay scale

for the ski patrol?

Guy's got no future, Diva.

Oh, he's got a future, stop it.

The ski patrol? What's he gonna

make one day, sergeant?

Best case scenario,

you're married to a mountie.

I got a great idea for an investor.

Dave Pembroke.

Dave Pembroke?

From Michigan, Dave Pembroke?

I remember him...

he was a real tough guy,

beating everybody's ass.

He was in my brother's grade,

that whole crowd of guys...

who got their jollies

beating people up.

Well, now he's getting some jollies

outta $30 million.

Guy's got 18 furniture stores

down in Orange County.

Hey, Clay.

You got my note?

I've invited him

Sunday for brunch.

Sunday's not good for me.

Why? What's Sunday?

You got that girl coming in?

From Fresno?

You know what, Bill?

You're married, you got two kids...

Would you relax?

I'm having fun.

Having fun?

You're gonna get caught.

- I'm not gonna get caught.

- You're cheating on your wife...

you're gonna get caught.

Listen to me...

You're in a situation

you can't control.

And somewhere along the way,

someone, some idiot...

is gonna say the wrong thing

at the wrong time,

- and it's gonna get back to Carol.

- Would you relax?

- Nobody knows, Marty.

- I'll tell you who knows...

This is gonna sound corny,

and you'll tease me later,

but I'll tell ya who knows.

God knows.

God does not know.

And if he does know...

- he doesn't care.

- He does care, okay?

Cheating on your wife

is not cool.

I know - I'm gonna get struck down

by a bolt of lightning...

- is that what you're telling me?

- Exactly...

that's what I'm saying,

and I stand real close to you,

so I'd appreciate it

if you'd get your sh*t together.

Don't you judge me.

Have you seen my wife lately?

- She's fat.

- She's not fat...

She's fat. She's not

into sex anymore...

all she wants to do is eat.

I'm a man. I got my needs.

I have my needs, too.

At the top of my needs list,

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