The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause Page #2

- Canada.

It's north, in North America, eh?

Vinegar on their French fries,

they sit on their chesterfield

to watch hockey.

Shoot the puck, daddy-o!

Come on, everybody!

Elves, everybody listen up.

Grab your hammers,

the in-laws are coming.

Hey, Robbie.

Virgil, let me see your teeth.

That's good. Hiya, elves.

- Hi, Tooth Fairy.

- Open up. Let me see.

Beautiful teeth.

Open the doors if

you want to fall in love!

Everybody, look,

Cupid in the house.

Oh, work, work, work.

That's nice to see.

- Hi, Cupid.

- What'd I miss?

Where's fat boy?

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Cupid, what's up?

Hey, EB.

- Santa.

- Molarnator.

Sandman.

Mother Nature, Father Time.

Merry Christmas, again.

Good to see everyone.

You think it's necessary

to call an emergency meeting?

I'm ready to ride the sleigh,

know what I mean?

We thought you should see this.

Silver bells!

I found 270 of them at shopping malls

scattered across the Northwest.

I hereby call this session of the

Council of Legendary Figures to order.

This is ridiculous.

- Sandman!

- I'm up, I'm up!

Hey, Cupid, nice skirt.

Easter Bunny.

Our first and only

order of business

is the disciplinary action to be taken

against council member Jack Frost.

Now that's what I'm talking about.

You love it. Am I right?

You guys finally woke up

and are giving me my own holiday.

Frostmas, of course,

is just a placeholder.

I'm wide open.

Frostgiving, the Frost of July.

Frosthog Day,

the possibilities are endless.

Jack, you are hereby

charged with 273 counts

of attempted upstaging of Santa Claus.

You froze a volcano in Hawaii,

you made it snow in the Amazon

and you frosted Mexico, sending all

of the geese north for the winter.

You violated

the Legendary Figures code of conduct

in a manner that is

wilful and malicious.

Excuse me. Did you just accuse me

of being skilful and delicious?

- Please.

- Guilty as charged.

You herald the season.

You're not a holiday.

You're the best friend,

not the leading man.

And you kill fruit.

All in favour of suspending Jack Frost

from the Legendary Council, say...

Wait a minute!

Father Time, wait a minute.

You gotta understand,

I have enormous untapped potential.

But all I am year after year

is an opening act.

A setup man for Mr Big.

- Why don't you let that go?

- No.

We have the same conversation

every year.

You get the soda cans

and the TV specials.

The postage stamps,

the billboards,

the beautiful adoring wife,

and the army of toy-building yes men.

What do I get?

A few runny noses and some dead citrus.

You know, Jack,

it's no picnic being me.

Because of problems an entire continent

might go without toys. That's right.

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