The Major and the Minor Page #2

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First floor.

Attention, please.

North Shore Limited

from Chicago and Detroit now arriving.

One day, coach, Stevenson, lowa,

on the 5:
55.

Unless you've got something sooner.

- You change at Chicago.

- With pleasure.

And now for the gala opening.

$27.50, on the nose.

$32.50.

$27.50. I know.

I'm sorry, lady. $32.50.

Do you want the ticket or not?

Listen, if it's $27.50

from Stevenson to New York,

don't tell me it's $32.50

from New York to Stevenson.

It doesn't make sense.

They boosted the rate, lady, last February.

They did?

Well, that's a fine thing

for a big railroad to do!

Get you to come here for $27.50,

and then when you want to go back,

raise the ante.

Okay, if that's the way railroads behave,

I'll take a bus.

Good idea, only the bus lines are on strike.

Don't you ever read a paper?

- Is this going on all day?

- Oh, just a minute.

This is serious.

Haven't you anything cheaper?

- I'd just as soon go in the baggage coach.

- Sorry. Next.

Well, how far will this take me?

About to Cedar Rapids.

And what would I do in Cedar Rapids?

I'm going to miss my train.

Honest, miss, come back

when there's a letdown.

Oh.

The limited for Indianapolis.

One ticket for me and two half-fares.

Both children under 12?

- Tell him how old you are, Margie.

- Nine.

- Now you, Wilbur.

- No!

Wilbur, tell the man how old you are.

I will not! Nobody can make me squeal.

I'm a Korn Krinkles secret operator.

Oh, Wilbur.

He's eight.

One lower, and Wilbur insists on an upper.

He wants to play Tarzan.

Attention, please.

Upstate specials...

You'd like one

of those cute animal-cutout books,

- wouldn't you, Wilbur?

- Paper dolls?

No, sometimes they can be quite frightening.

This is what I want,

Murder:
A Monthly Line-up. I want Murder!

Mother doesn't think that's very nice, Wilbur.

You'd like one of those books,

wouldn't you, Margie?

Well, I want Movie Parade.

See? "Why I Hate Women" by Charles Boyer.

Hey, buddy.

How would you like to make four bits?

I'd like it fine.

Okay, then buy me a half-fare ticket

to Stevenson, lowa.

Papa?

Sure, sure.

One half-fare to... To...

Stevenson.

One half-fare to Stevenson, Idaho, please.

Stevenson, lowa, Papa.

Oh, yes, that's right. Stevenson, lowa.

One half-fare, please.

- It's for the kid.

- How old are you?

Twelve next week.

Yeah, we're sending her

to her grandma's for her birthday.

I just love Grandma's, with all the moo-cows

and the birds and the little bunny rabbits.

With the big pink ears?

That'll be $16.25.

Now, don't lose this, Annie.

No, Papa.

Train on track 24. Here's your change.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, here's some change to buy yourself

some sandwiches with.

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