The Lonely Guy Page #4

For some reason,

Carol never called back.

You know, I know this guy

who's a magician.

He and his friend go into a

restaurant and start doing tricks.

He said they meet

a lot of girls that way.

So I got this magic book.

Try this.

Take a card.

Okay, look at it.

Okay, now stick it

back in somewhere.

There.

I'll shuffle.

Okay, cut 'em.

Okay.

Was it the queen of clubs?

No.

Was it a club?

No.

Diamond?

Yes.

Queen of diamonds?

No.

Nine of diamonds?

No.

Six of diamonds?

No.

Three of diamonds? Yes.

Yes. Not bad. Not bad.

Actually, I was feeling

pretty positive.

There are plenty of girls, and I knew

it wouldn't take long before I met one.

How you doin'?

I'm okay.

How about yourself?

Not too shabby.

Cigarette?

Oh, no, thanks.

Do you do this often?

Well... I'm a single guy,

and no use in saving it up.

Okay, you may get up now.

I'll have you out of here in just a minute.

Do you have time for a drink?

They say you should have some orange juice.

I have to meet my boyfriend.

Oh, right, right.

Me too.

You know, I really believe

that one of these days

I'm gonna meet the girl

of my dreams...

if I don't run out

of blood first.

I was getting

a little depressed.

So I was glad when Warren invited me

over to his place for a little party.

I want a list of part-time lovers...

Warren, how's it going?

What are these?

Party cutouts.

I got them at the Lonely Guy

Store at 81st and Lexington.

When I first saw them

it seemed like a weird idea,

but it turns out

they're a lot of fun.

They're good company too.

You'd be surprised.

Oh, yeah? It is surprising.

They move and everything.

I'm just gonna go

check on dinner.

Fix yourself a drink.

Drink anything you want. Thanks.

I'll get it.

Hey, how are you...

You got a complaint

about the noise.

You're playing

your music too loud!

Oh, I'll turn it down.

What the hell

is goin' on here?

Uh, just a friendly

little get-together.

- Can I fix you a drink?

- No, no. We're on duty.

- Oh, sure.

- Just keep the noise down.

Thanks.

Mike, go ahead. I'll be right down.

I gotta use the can.

Look, mister, really,

I don't have to use the can.

But tell me, please, where do you

get these things? They're fantastic!

You mean, you're a...

Yeah, a lonely cop.

A lonely cop?

Oh, gee!

You get 'em at the Lonely Guy

Store at 81st and Lex.

Thanks a lot. Do you know

if they got Gene Hackman?

Uh... Warren?

Yeah?

Does the Lonely Guy Store have Gene Hackman?

Yes, they do, but you have to

reserve him a week ahead.

Hey, terrific. Thanks again.

I really appreciate it.

Thanks a lot.

That's okay.

Come and get it.

Leg of lamb.

If I could tear you away from Dolly Parton.

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