The Legend of Barney Thomson Page #2
- Year:
- 2015
- 110 Views
He's got to fill
his day up somehow.
I mean, his in-tray consists of
staring out the window.
over The Daily Star.
What's the big breakthrough?
F*** off! It's my case.
Is it an actual breakthrough,
or is it just
a we-made-it-up breakthrough?
What the f*** is that?
Inspiration!
Oh, I been meaning to ask ya,
"Touchy Little Boy' coming on'?"
Do you want to do this
right now'?
'Cause I'm f***ing
well up for it!
Get your tits out of my face.
Come on, number six.
Come on, number six!
Come on, get a move-on,
get a f***ing move-on!
Get a move-on!
Come on, come on!
You f***ing shite!
You wee f***ing shite!
You f***ing wee shite!
F***ing... f***ing dog.
- Christ.
- Here you go, Mum.
What kept you?
Celebrity booking?
Oh, cannae beat a fish supper.
Get off!
Busy today?
Aye.
Tips'?
Plenty.
Tell ye What...
hand 'em over to me
and I'll put them
on the next race.
Nah, you're all right.
Bathgate Leopard...
three to one.
No thanks.
Oh, come on!
No.
A fiver gets you 15 quid.
I've not got any money!
Nah.
Who'd ever tip you'?
Not me.
You not put any vinegar on it'?
You didn't put any on.
Crap.
They talk crap all day.
Boxing.
That's their sole currency.
You know, I was in that windae
for eight years.
That meant something.
I'm 50, Charlie.
What the f*** happened there?
I mean, it's every man's right
to reach
his full potential. Right?
But it passed me by.
Aye.
What am I gonna do'?
Nothing.
I've got a mother
like an auld buzzard,
I live in a shitey, wee flat.
And the last time with a bird,
"Shakin' Stevens"
was number one.
I've not had
my kick at the ball.
All I've got is that job.
The bastards are trying
to take it away from me.
You want them to like you'?
Like me'?
I want to f***in' kill them.
Pew!
He's f***ing
laughing at us, 127.
Yes, sir.
The public
for this, you realize.
Yes, sir.
Right.
I'm replacing you as lead.
What'?
And you, 529.
No, sir, it's 20 past 10, sir.
Is it'?
529's your f***ing number!
You're off the case as well.
You'll be taking orders
from 119 from now on.
Thank you, sir.
Just take me...
uh, take me
through your plans, uh, 119.
He'll strike again, sir,
so we'll find out
who's recently disappeared,
who last saw them.
I'll put Holdall here
out in the field,
investigating
Don't you think
we should be looking
for the rest of him'?
119's in charge now, 127.
Is that plate from the canteen?
Ah, f*** me.
Tell forensics to get
their own f***ing plates!
I'm not eating off a plate
that's served up a human arse.
Right. Off you go.
Oh, ho, ho! Listen to this.
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