The Ladies Man Page #2

Um, same old, same old.

Leon Phelps is a genius.

Yeah, same old angry calls

from our listeners...

and same old threats

from the boss.

[Leon] But listen,

for every hundred angry calls we get,

there is somebody

that I helped.

Ain't that right,

Scrap Iron?

Huh? Yeah.

Leon single-handedly saved

my second and fourth marriages.

- Mm-hmm.

- That's right. And it was Leon...

who taught me I didn't have

to be ashamed of my body.

[Men Hooting]

Thank you, Candy. You see, I like

to help people. That is what I do.

You know,

lam like Mother Teresa,

but of boning,"

you see what I'm saying?

Listen, Julie, you are now

in the world of Leon Phelps, okay?

Everything will work out.

Trust me.

Thank you, Scrap.

And besides that, Julie,

you have to learn...

that there are more important things

in life than work.

- Can I help you?

- Martini with lemon.

So excuse me while

Leon Phelps shows you...

how he brings home

the bacon.

That's my cue.

I'm out of here.

Yeah, I know. It's a heartbreak,

ain't it, girlfriend?

I mean, when's it

gonna be our turn, right?

You know, you and me

are exactly alike. Eerie.

- See you later, Scrap Iron.

- Bye, baby.

- Bye, Lester. See you tomorrow, Leon.

- Bye, sweetie.

There goes Julie Simmons.

I bet you're wondering what a nice girl

like that is doing in a place like this.

That's exactly what I was wondering

one night about two years ago.

Do me wrong

Do me right

Do me right, baby

,1' Tell me lies ,1'

- Bourbon, up.

- [Continues]

Let me help you with that.

There you go.

Listen, I was wondering,

can I ask you a question?

Was your father

a meat burglar?

Here's why I ask.

Because it looks like somebody...

stole two fine hams and shoved them

down the back of your dress.

[ Lester] And then it happened.

She started laughing.

Kept on laughing.

I thought she was crazy.

They talked and laughed

on into the night.

Leon didn't go home with her,

but he took home her business card.

She said she was in radio. Said

she wanted to put Leon on the radio.

That was two years ago.

I guess she packed

her wedding dress away...

for another day.

Listen, seriously, Lester.

Can you take a break for a second?

I'm trying to concentrate

over here.

[Scrap] Leon, {think

she gonna be a tough shoe to polish.

[Leon]

Au contraire, bon jour.

Let me give you

the play-by-play.

{will probably begin

with a very classy first line.

Something like--

Say, sweet thing,

can I buy you a fish sandwich?

Mm-hmm.

And then I will commence to

whisper sweet words in her ear.

Something like--

Man, I'd like to take a bite

out of your butt.

And then I will close the deal

by giving her a preview of...

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