The Full Monty Page #2

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- Yeah?

- Yeah. Sunday League down the park.

There's some right good players.

United are playing Man U, aren't they?

You know I can't stretch to that.

You're always making me do

stupid stuff like last night.

Other dads don't do that.

Don't they?

- Aye.

- Aye.

Nathe!

We could try and sneak into Man U.

Terry said...

No!

All right! I'll... I'll get tickets! I will!

Ooh! Aah! Cantona!

Has to wear a girlie bra!

We'll stuff 'em, Nathe.

F***!

I want the application letters finished by the

time I get back. Any problems, I'm outside.

(Gaz) I tell you,

when women start pissing like us, that's it.

We're finished, Dave.

Extincto.

Yeah, I mean...

How? You know...

- How?

- Genetic mutations. They're turning into us.

A few years and men won't exist.

Except in a zoo or summat.

We're not needed no more, are we?

Obsolete. Dinosaurs.

Yesterday's news.

Like skateboards.

Button it!

Some of us are trying to get a job.

And it says no smoking in "ere.

Aye, and it says job club up there.

When did you last see one of them walk in?

(laughter)

You forget, Gerald,

you're not our foreman now.

You're just like the rest of us.

- Scrap.

- Shut it, right?

Hang on, though. Why were all them women

Int' working-men's club int' first place?

Now then! Cos of us. Men.

You call them Chippendales men?

Degrading, that's what it were.

How many lassies were there, though?

Thousands. Baying for blood.

Ten quid to watch some f***ing poof

get his kit off! Ten quid!

Times ten quid by a thousand, right?

And you've got...

Yeah, well, a lot. A very lot.

Nah.

10,000 quid.

- How much?

- 10,000 quid.

'ey, now, Dave, I mean...

It's worth a thought, though, innit?

Little And Large prancing round Sheffield

with their widgers out!

That would be worth ten quid!

Don't be so bloody daft.

We were just saying...

- Widgers on parade! Bring a microscope!

- I don't see why the chuff not!

Because you're fat and he's thin,

and you're both f***ing ugly.

Bastard!

(shouting)

What's all this about sole custody?

You know what. If you want

joint custody, you pay your share.

- 700 quid.

- I'm ont" dole, in case you hadn't noticed!

- Get a job! I'll gi' you a job!

- 2.50 an hour in Black Hole of Calcutta!

No, thank you.

If you want to play your games, do that,

but Nathan's gonna have two parents now.

And your live-in lover's gonna do that?

Abracadabra, here he is! Evening, Barry.

That'll be for t" court to decide.

No, it won't. Nathan's yours and mine.

He's f***-all to do with him!

- As if you've ever given a toss.

- Face it. He don't like staying at yours.

Course he bloody does! Ask him!

Ask him!

Oi, Nathe! We have a laugh, don't we?

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