The Full Monty

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(drum roll)

(projector)

(fanfare)

Welcome to Sheffield!

The beating heart

of Britain's industriaINorth!

The jewel in Yorkshire's crown

is home to over halfa million people,...

..and thousands more

flock here daily to shop and to work.

All this is built on

Sheffield's primary industry,...

..steel.

The city's rolling mills, forges,...

..and workshops employ some 90,000 men...

..and state-of-the-art machinery

to make the world's finest steel.

From high-tensile girders...

..to the stainless cutlery

for your dining table.

But it's not all hard work

for the people of Steel City.

They can spend the day

lounging by the pool,...

..watching one of our top soccer teams,...

..or browsing in the shops.

But when the sun goes down,

the fun really starts...

..in the city's numerous

night clubs and discotheques.

Yes, Yorkshire folk know

how to have a good time!

And it's good times

for the city's housing, too!

Sheffield leads the way in town planning.

Victorian slums have been cleared

to make way for the homes of the future.

Thanks to steel,...

..Sheffield really is...

..a city on the move!

Gaz, who's gonna buy a rusty girder?

- Come on.

- Dad, it's stealing!

No, it's liberating, love. Liberating.

Gaz, hang on.

Ten years we worked in "ere. Now look.

- What if we get caught?

- You don't get a criminal record till you're 16.

- Just don't tell your mum.

- 'ey, listen.

- (brass band plays)

- Music.

Bloody hell!

- What are they doing?

- It's the works band. It's still going.

About only thing round "ere that is.

'ey up! Security guard's back.

(door closes)

"Won't take a minute", he says.

"Won't take a minute." Now what?

Shut up. I'm thinking.

Can't we do normal things sometimes?

This is normal! Int' it, Dave?

Oh, aye. Everyday stuff, this.

I think this bugger's sinking.

Pick it up,

and try and slide it across other side.

That's it.

Oh, f***ing hell, Nathe!

They're 20 quid each, them!

That were your bloody maintenance!

- Oh, sh*t.

- Oh, nice one.

(Dave) Nathe!

Nathan!

- F***ing hell!

- Come "ere, come "ere!

Jesus! Stay still.

Stay still, stay still.

All right.

What's your initiative got to say

about this, then, bog eyes?

'ey up, there's someone coming.

- All right?!

- Aye, not so bad.

'tot so bad"?

"not so bad"?

That's not much of a chuffing SOS!

All right, don't get a benny on.

Sh*t!

Me jeans are bloody soaking!

You should have taken your kit off.

- What's up? Are you shy?

- Don't! Shut it, all right?

'ey up, Dave.

- All right, babe?

- Dad!

What do you reckon, Dave?

Eight? Maybe even a nine.

- You can never tell till you see their tits.

- Dad!

- What's all this?

- It's them Chippendale efforts.

- You what?

- Them dancers. Mum were going on about it.

Oh, you're joking!

She must be getting desperate.

- You all waiting for me, then?

- Yeah! To go home.

You know where to find me

when you tire of them poofs.

- Dad!

- Come on, Gaz, I'm freezing.

"Women only"?

Cheeky buggers!

It's a bloody working-men's club!

I mean, look at the state of that!

What have you got to smile about?

He's got no willy, for starters.

Not in a gym'll help you there, mate!

No decent woman would

be seen dead in there.

Jean would.

Oh, Dave, what's going on?

It's her money, innit?

F***ing hell! You'll let some poof ave his

tackle at your missis?! Where's your pride?!

She's already got you hoovering! I saw it

and I let it go! But this? No, no, no.

- Get her out of here.

- It's women only.

Hurry up, will you? Me feet have gone numb.

That's gratitude for you! We're riding

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