The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain Page #2

his services just as a porter.

[ Morgan ] Oh, well.

Johnny should be able to manage that.

- Perhaps we could meet him.

- Oh, absolutely.

First thing in the morning.

He seems to have rather

an impatient dog, wouldn`t you say ?

[ Chuckles ]

Yeah.

- [ Morgan ] Why not ?

- Because he`s not ready.

All he has to do

is hold a pole straight.

Don`t be twp. No one gets paid

for just holdin` a pole.

Unless you`re Betty

from Cardiff.

- Don`t start that again.

- Megan said she saw her,

all tarted up again

in the pub on Saturday.

She`s been advisin` me on

the refurbishment of my establishment.

Refurbishin`

your establishment !

l`ve never heard it

called that before.

[ Clapping Hands ]

Mornin`, Johnny.

l got some English stayin` at the pub.

Makin` maps, daft buggers.

[ Chuckling ]

They need help, of course.

Someone to carry

what they can`t or won`t.

There`s money.

So should l tell them

you`re interested ?

Well, uh, come along

to the pub later, all right ?

Ah ! Good mornin`,

Reverend Jones.

l see God`s in His heaven

and all`s well with the world.

- Have you no shame ?

- No !

l can`t think where l`ve left it.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Reverend Jones ] When does a hill

become a mountain ?

l think it must be a comparative term.

l mean,

you take the Himalayas

of lndia.

There they have mountains of

10,000 feet which are referred

to, l believe, as foothills.

But take our mountain.

That isn`t a foothill !

Well, again, placed in the Alps, it

wouldn`t even be considered a hillock.

- But it isn`t in the Alps !

lt`s here ! Here in Wales !

- Oh, quite.

So who-- who decides

on British maps ?

Mr. Davies,

now this in confidence.

- They`re saying--

- What, the English ?

Yes ! They`re saying that

it must be over 1,000 feet.

Really ! l`d imagined

5,000 was the standard.

But how high is Ffynnon Garw ?

ls it over a thousand ?

Over two thousand ?

A thousand ? l`d always imagined

it was a few hundred.

Oh, dear. Oh, and l thought

you were an educated man.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

[ Grandfather ] The first mountain

in Wales.

Yes, it is something we have

boasted about since time immemorial.

We didn`t have the biggest mountains

of the North...

nor the beautiful mountains

of mid-Wales,

but we could claim that we lived

in the shadow of the first mountain...

inside the Welsh border.

These mountains

have defeated every invader.

This is where

the Britons fled...

when they were invaded

by the Romans, the Angles,

the Saxons, the Vikings,

the Normans.

Oh, yes, they all invaded

this island of Britain,

but they`ve never

taken the mountains from us.

They`ve never taken

ancient Britain.

[ Chuckles ] My God. Those last

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