The Crew

Synopsis: Four former made men, struggling to get by in a rundown Miami hotel, come up with a plot to drive out all of the young tenants that are slowly taking over the beach-front hotel and driving up their rent. Taking a man that was found dead on the beach, they arrange what appears to a mob hit and provide a note that says more killings are to occur. Unfortunately the old man they use turns out to be the senile father of a drug lord. The drug lord declares war on the killers of his father, thinking it was an action of his enemies. A stripper learns of the old men's involvement and threatens to squeal on them unless they kill her stepmother. Meanwhile, one man searches for his long-lost daughter, who is the investigating police officer, trying to divest herself from her crumb fellow officer and former boyfriend.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Michael Dinner
Production: Touchstone Pictures
  1 win.
Rotten Tomatoes:
88 min

Now, if I was to squeeze your balls... would take the jaws of frigging life

to get my hands off them.

Ive got nothing to live for. You probably

want to be seen in an underwear ad.

Come on, Val.

-howd he know about the underwear ad?

-I dont know.

This kind ofstuff

was happening every day now.

The Raj Mahal, where we all lived,

was the last...

...of the old retirement hotels

on South Beach.

-You all right?

-Forget about it. It was just a gas bibble.

You sure?

The four of us...

...were pretty much the last

of the old-timers still hanging on here.

Coming through.

They wheeled them out faster than

you could say ventricular fibrillation.

And ifyou had an ocean view,

forget aboutit.

Now, I just want you to imagine this

with no hospital bed...

...and no oxygen tank,

and a fresh coat of paint.

Lets see now, where are the lights?

There we go.

You know what they say,

Out with the old, in with the tattoos.

It wasjust a matter of time for us, too.

A view.

No, Bats!

Bats still had a temper.

his doctorsaid he ran down the batteries...

...on his pacemaker

faster than anyone hed everseen.

Look at this. I got a nice Christmas card

from Jerry No Nose up in Boca.


-The Brick...

-he had ear cancer.

-...he was still The Brick.

No nose, now no ear.

Regular Mr. Potato head.

Wow, a $.50 hallmark.

Look at this. What a beauty, eh?

And Mouth....

Mouth had given up talking altogether.

Constantlu surrounded

by so many beautiful girls...

...with a prostate

the size of a Vidalia onion... was like waving candu corn

in front of a diabetic.

Four old wiseguys waiting it out

in a goddamn Miami Beach hotel.

hell mystlook like this room.

When you stop doing

whatitis you love to do, you know... embezzlement or extortion,

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Barry Fanaro

Barry Fanaro is an American screenwriter of television and feature films. He has taught screenwriting seminars at USC, UCSB, AFI and Mercer University. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"The Crew" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 5 Jul 2020. <>.

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