The Browning Version Page #2

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Yes, he doesn't look too bad.

[ Laughter ]

When I ignite the nitric oxide

and carbon disulfide...

you will see what we call

a graded explosion...

which is a flash that passes along this tube,

ending in a loud bang there.

Now stand back.

This should be pretty good.

[ Laughing ]

Well, it can't work every time.

Must be the damp in the atmosphere.

Sir, could it be the wrong proportion?

No, it certainly couldn't.

Who are you? I don't recognize you.

- Taplow, sir.

- You're not in my class, are you?

- No, sir. Lower fifth.

- Then what on earth are you doing here?

I'm going to be in your class next term, sir.

That is, if I get my promotion.

Well, go away.

This is this term, not next term.

Oh, it's all right, sir.

We don't start until 1 0:00.

Go away.

I'll not have my budding Einsteins perverted

by immature, as yet unpromoted classicists.

[ All Chuckling ]

Sorry, sir. It's only that

I wanted to see the experiment.

- Well, you've seen it now, haven't you?

- Not yet, sir.

Too bad. Out.

Yes, sir.

You know, sir, when I do that experiment,

I don't use quite the same proportions.

Oh, you don't.

Shall I tell you something, Taplow?

You know, I rather hope you don't get

your promotion from the lower fifth next term.

Incidentally, why don't you know yet

whether you've got it or not?

Oh, Mr. Crocker-Harris doesn't

tell us the results like the other masters.

- Why on earth not?

- Well, you know what he's like, sir.

There is a rule, I believe,

that promotions...

shall only be announced to the parents

by the headmaster in school report.

Yes, but who else pays any attention

to it except the Crock?

Except Mr. Crocker-Harris.

Except Mr. Crocker-Harris.

Do you, sir?

Taplow, you leave this room

with your life, and that is all. Good-bye.

- [ Laughter ]

- Good-bye, sir.

And now, gentlemen,

despite the interruption by the small boy...

we shall continue

with the experiment...

using precisely the same proportions

as I used before.

[ Boy ] He'll recover in the holidays,

and he'll be back again next term, sure as fate.

- They'll give him penicillin.

- Wonder what's the matter with him.

- Stomach ulcers?

- Heart.

- How do you know?

- I go to his home for extra work.

- I've seen the medicines.

- [ Laughs ]

- What's so funny?

- The idea of the Crock having a heart at all.

- I see what you mean.

- I say, do you think he's dying?

Heart trouble is

nearly always fatal, isn't it?

I mean, in plays and films,

people are always saying...

''The old ticker's

a bit dicky, you know.''

They always die in the end.

I say, supposing he dies in the class...

right in front of us.

You sadistic little brute.

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