The Brass Teapot Page #3

No, I don't have my master's,

But I have my bachelor's degree.

And I actually graduated

in the top third of my class.

Okay. Um, is there

any other position?

Something entry-level,

maybe?

Ow!

Ow!

Holy mother of god.

Seven hundred dollars.

Oh, sh*t!

Ow. Ow.

John, I've come to the realization that...

You may not be a great

salesman. Okay.

You don't smile when you speak

to clients on the phone.

Right. And-and you think my clients

notice when I don't smile...

Over the phone?

It's for my wife.

She has great taste.

What?

Good for her.

Okay. Listen up.

We're letting people go, John.

And, uh, you're the first.

Hold on.

Me? The first?

I've been here longer than

half the people out there.

I'm one of two people with a degree.

And Donna's is from an animal husbandry school.

We're not basing this on seniority, number one.

Number two, don't belittle Donna...

For her passion for animal insemination,

What it's done for this community and

what she's done for this company.

We're letting you go.

Do you have anything else to add?

No.

Alice!

Jesus.

What the--

Alice!

Alice.

Hey, baby.

Baby, can you hear me?

Alice.

Johnny boy.

What happened to you?

- There's someone in the house.

- What? What do we do?

You're my hero.

You're kidding?

Baby, just tell me what the hell happened?

- I fell down the stairs.

- We don't have stairs.

Ow.

There we go.

I think-- baby, I think we need to

take you to the hospital.

I'm fine.

Not everybody has to go to the

emergency room for a mosquito bite.

It was one time.

Thing looked like a hummingbird.

Are you drowsy or nauseous?

I feel very awake.

More than I have in years.

I think you're concussed.

Look.

Watch me.

See?

I'm fine.

Why aren't you at work, baby?

They fired me.

How can they do that?

I'll find another job.

- How hard can that be?

- Seriously?

it doesn't matter.

What?

You feel funny?

Like I might be having a panic attack.

I'm so sorry for this, John.

what the--

What the hell?

Look! Look.

Look. It's better

than any paycheck.

You're giving me money so you can hit me?

No, I'm not.

The teapot is.

It gives money when you hurt yourself.

- What?

- How else can you explain it?

Alice. Alice!

You put the money in the teapot

before you hit me.

No. No, I didn't.

It's empty.

Empty.

What are you doing?

Abracadabra.

Ow.

I guess that really does hurt.

- Where did that come from?

- Seriously, John?

Okay.

Ow! Ow.

Jesus, Alice.

What the--

Ouch.

Ouch.

Stop doing that.

This is the first time I've been

the breadwinner. It feels good.

It's not a paycheck!

Alice, this is not a job. Good.

Most people kill themselves

for decades and get nowhere.

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