The Brass Teapot

Synopsis: Based on the comic book series "The Brass Teapot" about a mid-twenty-year-old couple who, in these difficult economic times, finds a mysterious, magical brass teapot which makes them money but at a surprising price. After realizing the teapot's power, John and Alice must decide how far they will go to fulfill their dream.
Director(s): Ramaa Mosley
Production: Magnolia Pictures
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.4
Metacritic:
43
Rotten Tomatoes:
33%
R
Year:
2012
101 min
Website
52 Views

You want me to make you breakfast?

With what? There's nothing

in the fridge.

I'll go to the store when you get paid.

We can crash dinner at my mom's tonight.

I'd rather starve.

If I had a million dollars,

I'd stay in bed with you all day.

I'm gonna be late for work, wife.

You know I'm quick, husband.

Hey, Pete.

Whoops.

Oh, oh, oh.

Hey, fellas.

Good morning.

Good morning. I have a great

new offer for you today.

Uh-huh.

- Good morning. Hi, Donna.

- Hi, John.

Okay, let's do this. Let's sell some...

Television warranties.

No, um,

I have not had experience supervising others.

But I am a confident leader,

And I respond very well to stress and deadlines.

No, um, I have not had, uh,

experience supervising others.

But I am a confident leader,

And I respond well-- very well--

to stress and deadlines.

Hi, good morning, Mr. Sandveg.

Hope I didn't wake you.

Hi, auntie.

Are you there?

Uh, no, my name is John Macy.

Um, sir, would you be interested by any chance,

what happened is, we've suddenly started

to hit real well.

What's that? But our pitching

is just terrible.

Hello? Hello? Mr. Sandveg?

Hey, what went wrong on that sale there, John?

Um, this sale.

Dementia.

Okay. Think about

what we talked about.

Productivity, performance, punctuality,

The three main pivot points to you recapturing

your optimal performance level.

Why is this a problem?

Oh, I just think it's honestly

a pretty bad economy right now.

Don't tell me economy.

Everyone's blaming the economy.

You gonna blame somebody?

Blame--

The damn republicans?

What? Don't sass me.

And don't sass my party.

I-- make some calls.

Focus up.

Get rid of those

dumb-ass toys.

First I'm here

Then I'm there

And I know it's a drag

And I know it's a drag but I'm here

I've spent the last three years

finishing my undergraduate degree.

It's been tight, but worth it...

So I could sit here today,

fully qualified for my dream job.

I'm ahead of the pack for once.

We have a lot of applicants,

All of whom have master's degrees...

Or ten years' experience.

Okay.

Flower power, minishirts

In the big city

What do you want?

Came by for the rent check.

It's not due for another three days, Arnie.

Well, then I saved you a stamp.

Ow.

Here. You can't

cash that until Friday.

Weren't you, uh, voted most likely

to succeed in high school, Alice?

Yeah. Why?

Just wondering what

happened. Oh.

Oopsies.

Oh, yeah, that guy.

Mmm. You know,

he's getting promoted.

And I'm considering several

job offers right now.

Oh, that's good.

That's nice. Yeah.

Arnie.

Yard's a little shaggy.

Oh.

Bang!

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Hello, darling wife.

Hello, husband.

So, this is the part where you tell

me you got a promotion at work...

And a huge bonus.

You tell me to go get sexy

because you're taking me out.

I, uh, found a hoagie time coupon

in the men's room.

It's a bogo.

Ooh.

Love when you spoil me.

Get inside.

It's hoagie time.

Yes! You die.

I think I should just become

a navy seal or something.

'Cause I'm a tactical genius.

Why is it that real blood makes you pass out,

but this is entertainment?

Because I'm killing drug dealers and pimps.

It's god's work.

Hey, which credit card has

no interest until next year?

Um, citibank in July.

Oh! I died, baby.

So, when Arnie cashes our check,

We will be left with--

Why do you care so much about

what Payton and Ricky think?

Because they're our friends, John,

and we went to high school together.

These people tortured me in high school.

Hi, um, Alice and John Macy.

I see you're on the list. Yeah.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"The Brass Teapot" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 8 Dec. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_brass_teapot_4605>.

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