Step Sisters Page #3

brothers know their way around a shlong.

I wanted to bite off her nipple

and spit it at her!

[JAMILAH LAUGHS]

[JAMILAH SNORTS]

Hi, Danielle.

This is my friend Jamilah.

And this is her first SBB party.

Then where is her goddamn beer?

Be a better hostess, Beth.

Oh, no. I don't really do beer.

Weird.

So, interested in rushing SBB?

Actually, I'm a Theta.

- Not heard of it. I'm sure it's great.

- It's a black sorority.

OMG.

They are so mysterious!

Do they really beat you until you pass out

and brand you like cattle

with a hot coat hanger?

I saw it on 20/20.

Maybe it was The View.

Whatever! It was totally Babs.

Do you line up in bikinis and circle

each other's cellulite with a marker?

Used to.

Ah, the good old days!

How come none of your sororities

have houses?

Why don't you participate in Greek Week?

Oh! We have a black girl in ours.

- Do you have a white girl?

- Oh, my God.

- Are you the ones who do the screeching?

- Danielle!

Beth, sweetie.

THAT ENSEMBLE:

five years and ten pounds ago, maybe.

That's a hard "maybe".

So, that beer. Do you have Heineken?

No, skip that. Do you have crack?

[MEN GROANING IN DISGUST]

Jamilah?

I'm deactivating.

What?

You can just quit your sorority?

Black Greeks are like gangs.

You get out when you die.

Damn.

My point is...

weak people quit.

- I'm not weak.

- Why are you quitting?

I have tried!

But all these girls care about is

blow-drying their hair,

and getting skinny and getting wasted...

But there's sex.

That's true.

SBB has helped me get mad laid.

No! I mean there's sex happening

right in front of me.

[LIBBY GASPS]

This is just like summer camp!

Oh, no!

Oh, no, no, no!

Bad Libby!

Oh, oh, oh. Hey, Libby!

- Get up, Libby!

- Beth, please go away.

- You're making it awkward, and I like you.

- Oh, my...

Stop it! I'm trying... to help you!

- [SHOUTS] Bishop!

- [WHISPERS] God.

- This has got to stop.

- Are you hung over?

[SWALLOWS]

No.

Well, wring out your liver, Bishop.

We have got a big problem.

There is a video online

of a Sigma Beta Beta member

having sex on their lawn!

They're making porn on...

[BETH OVER VIDEO] Get down, Libby!

They're making porn on my campus.

It's gone viral.

Poor choice of words.

If they can't get their sh*t together,

I am pulling their charter!

Yeah...

Terrible.

[LIBBY OVER VIDEO] Goodness!

[BETH OVER VIDEO] Get down!

Am I supposed to say something else?

That you're gonna help fix this!

You understand Greek culture.

Oh, no. I understand black Greek culture.

Look, you make this SBB mess go away,

and I'll guarantee you

admission to Harvard.

[VIDEO CONTINUES PLAYING]

- Nick and I will both endorse you.

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