Stealing Harvard Page #2

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Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!

You know, Noreen, a lot of kids

are just taking a year off these days.

Ever think about that?

Traveling? Seeing Asia? Lot of people

there. Must be something to it.

- Do you not want me to go to Harvard?

- What? No!

I just think there's value to being

on the road with nothing but $100.

Hell, I'll give you $100.

If it's about money, don't worry.

I've saved almost everything

I've ever earned for this.

Plus, I get financial aid,

so it's all pretty much paid for...

...except one little chunk.

- Good!

- How much more money do you need?

- $29,879.

That's the small chunk?

It's expensive.

Found one.

And we need the money by the 1 5th.

Yeah. There's our Mr. Biscuits.

I have to go. Yeah, he just walked in.

I didn't know how to do it, but

I had to tell Elaine our house fund...

...had just become Noreen's

college fund.

So how was Patty's?

Really nice.

- You know, Noreen's a great kid.

- Yeah.

So much raw potential.

- Boy, with the right opportunities...

- So I found this great house today.

What do you think?

It's great. It's a charming starter house

on a spectacular tree-lined street...

...and it has hardwood cabinets.

And I love it.

If you go by and like it too,

then maybe we could...

Don't you think we're

moving fast here?

John. I know it seems scary to be

spending all this money on a house...

...but that's what we've

been saving for.

My mom and dad fought about money,

but that can't happen to us...

...because we have $30,000...

...for our house. Our home.

Our future.

And no one can take that

away from us.

That's what I meant.

So Noreen got into college, and

Elaine had found our dream house.

These wonderful things were locked

in a struggle for the same money.

Not $30, $30,000.

I had to try and borrow it.

- Hello, dear.

- I called my Aunt Jean:

- No!

- My Uncle Dave:

- No!

- And my grandmother:

Who do you think I am?

Albert f***ing Trump?

It was my last option. A man whose

ideas were sometimes so dumb...

...they were brilliant.

I had to go to Duff.

Hey, man, how you been?

John. Been almost two months. Did

you disappear off the face of the earth?

- I've just been busy.

- I've been busy...

...with my landscaping company,

Landscape Escape.

Doesn't mean I have to go and

disappear off the face of the earth.

- I can't stay mad at you, man.

- Duff! You burned me.

John! John!

- Tarp?

- Yep.

- Like a tarpaulin?

- No, just tarp.

Who can't spell tarp, Duff?

Duff? Don't you think you're

taking a little too much off the top?

I know what I'm doing.

I have to taper it so light reaches the

lower leaves during growing season.

But what about this string?

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