Stealing Harvard

Synopsis: A man turns to a life of crime to pay for his niece's tuition for her first year at a prestigious university. His girlfriend also wants him to pay $30,000 for the down payment on a house; and his buddy is a bad influence on him.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Bruce McCulloch
Production: Columbia Pictures
  1 win & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
5.1
Metacritic:
25
Rotten Tomatoes:
9%
PG-13
Year:
2002
85 min
$13,914,181
Website
149 Views


...so I spent as much time with her

as I could.

- Happy Halloween!

- Hi! What are you?

I'm the Statue of Liberty.

You could say I'm the closest thing

she has to a father figure.

- Good luck!

- Thanks, Uncle John!

Come on! These carcasses

don't move themselves.

And I'm proud to say,

she turned out to be a great kid.

Genuine, hard-working...

...and in spite of everything that had

happened around her, normal.

- Hi.

- Why are we watching these?

We're celebrating. Noreen has news.

- Please tell me you're not pregnant.

- Uncle John!

Here we go! Remember this?

Hi. Sorry I'm late. Traffic.

Has the spelling bee started yet?

She's already out.

Got her on the first word.

It was rigged. I'm writing a letter!

Noreen. I'm sorry.

- What was the word she misspelled?

- Tarp.

- Tarp?

- Yeah.

T-A-R-P?

Great.

Where were you five minutes ago?

- I'm stupid.

- No, you're not. You're smart.

- Yes.

- You'll do great in school...

...you're gonna go to college,

you're gonna be brilliant.

Well, Uncle John, you were half right.

I don't know if I'm brilliant,

but guess who got into Harvard?

- I can't believe it!

- What?

- I got accepted to Harvard University!

- You're kidding!

That's what this is about?

That's incredible!

- I know!

- My little goddamned genius!

See? What did I tell you?

You work hard and follow your dreams,

and things will always work out.

You were right.

- Bet you're sorry you promised.

- What promise?

Wait! Here it comes. My favorite part.

I'm never gonna go into college now.

Yes, you will. I guarantee it.

I believe in you so much,

know what I'm gonna do?

- What?

- I'm paying for it.

You get into college,

and I'll pay for it.

And that's a promise

from your Uncle John.

I'll be right back.

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Peter Tolan

Peter James Tolan III (born July 5, 1958) is an American television producer, director, and screenwriter. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Stealing Harvard" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 23 Oct. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/stealing_harvard_18844>.

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