Spaceballs script
Spaceballs (1987)
Synopsis: In a distant galaxy, planet Spaceball has depleted its air supply, leaving its citizens reliant on a product called "Perri-Air." In desperation, Spaceball's leader President Skroob (Mel Brooks) orders the evil Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) to kidnap Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga) of oxygen-rich Druidia and hold her hostage in exchange for air. But help arrives for the Princess in the form of renegade space pilot Lone Starr (Bill Pullman) and his half-man, half-dog partner, Barf (John Candy).

MINISTER ....going right past the alter, heading down the ramp, and

out the door.

ROLAND Stop her! Someone, stop her! Stop her!

EXT. CHAPEL - DAY VESPA and DOT come out of the chapel. They head

for the getaway car.

DOT Hey wait! You forgot to get married. Will you stop?

They get to the car. VESPA opens the door.

DOT What are you doing?

VESPA (starts to get in the getaway car) No questions, Dot. Get in.

Car starts up, and the ramp starts to tilt upward. Everyone else

comes out of the chapel.

ROLAND What is she doing? Where is she going?

The car takes off toward space.

VALIUM Come baaaaack! (yawns while saying back)

INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE The Eagle 5 is a Winnebago with wings. BARF is

eating ice cream and dancing to music. BARF is a mog. He's half man,

half dog. LONE STARR is at the wheel, asleep. LONE STARR is drunk.

He is a normal human. "AUTOMATIC PILOT" is flashing. The

phone starts ringing.

LONE STARR (wakes up) Barf. Barf. Barf!



BARF Always when I'm eating.

BARF puts down the ice cream, and picks up some Milkbones.


BARF What can I do you for, boss?

LONE STARR Where ya been?

BARF Oh, just grabbin' myself a snack. You want some? (offers a

Milkbone to Lone Starr)


BARF C'mon. A little hair on the dot.

LONE STARR Answer that for me. Will ya?

BARF Ah, sure. (hits Lone Starr with his tail)

LONE STARR Will you watch that thing?

BARF Oh, sorry. I'll just put it on audio. That way they won't see

ya. (hits the video switch) Yello.

VINNIE appears on the screen. VINNIE is a half robot, half man.

VINNIE Hello, Lone Starr.

BARF Sorry, wrong switch.

LONE STARR Hello, Vinnie, what do you want?

VINNIE No, no, no, no, no. It's not what I want. It's what he wants.

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Mel Brooks

Melvin James Brooks is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, composer and songwriter. He is known as a creator of broad film farces and comic parodies. more…

All Mel Brooks scripts | Mel Brooks Books

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"Spaceballs" STANDS4 LLC, 2018. Web. 20 Feb. 2018. <>.

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