Saved! Page #2

Not,

Mercy House

is a Christian treatment facility

where they deal with

everything from drug abuse,

to alcoholism, to de-gayification,

and unwed mothers.

I need to tell you guys something,

What? It wasn't Iike it was

some kind of secret,

The guy was Iike

a one-man gay pride parade,

You know, we've never

had a gay at American Eagle,

We're not gonna

tell anyone, okay?

Sure,

Hilary Faye,

- You promised me,

- Yeah, that's fine,

What if you had married him?

The gayness would be

passed on to your children,

Cassandra Edelstein was the only

Jewish to ever attend American Eagles.

She transferred in last year

amid rumors that she was a stripper.

Everyone wanted to get her saved,

especially Hilary Faye.

Hi, Cass,

Welcome back,

Smoking isn't just bad for you,

it's bad for all of us,

Secondhand smoke kills,

I'm counting on it,

Oh, my gosh!

Hilary Faye, are you okay?!

I bet she doesn't even have

a handicap permit for her car,

And I'm right!

Oh, my God,

Come on, We don't want to be Iate

for homeroom, okay?

Let's get to class,

- Hi, Matt,

- Hey,

- I'm a Jewel,

- Oh, it's awesome!

Hey, guys, guess what?

I think Jesus appeared to me

in my fish tank, and he--

It's okay, it didn't move,

The tank's kinda dirty

and most of the fish are dead,

but my mom said if you guys--

Okay, Tia, thanks,

- I'II see you after class,

- I'II talk to you guys after class,

I hope you all

Iet God use you as a vessel

for his divine plan this summer,

I'm sure by now most of you

have noticed the beautiful billboard

designed and painted

by our own Hilary Faye

and donated by her father,

Thank you,

Mary helped,

And speaking of new additions, class,

I'd Iike you to welcome Patrick Wheeler,

Most of the boys in school looked

like NASA employees, not Patrick.

There had to be a catch.

Patrick is Pastor Skip's son,

He's been in South America

doing missionary work with his mother,

and this summer

he just completed a world tour

with the Christian

skateboard association,

Nice,

Out there hitting the board

for the Lord?

Is nothing sacred to you people?

Before this morning's assembly,

why don't we catch up

on what everyone did this summer?

Mary, Iet's start with you,

AII right, everyone,

put your hands together

for the Christian Jewels!

Some of the words to myself

would make the clouds disappear

If you were gone,

what would I become?

You're so good to me

I mean that,

Oh, clarity

Dear God

A Iittle piece of Heaven

A Iittle piece of Heaven

in my world

So, I figured they would've

sent you to a special school by now,

This is a special school,

No,

I fell out of a tree

when I was nine,

Hilary Faye found me,

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