Renaissance Man Page #2

[ People Singing ]

-Hey, buddy, you got two bits?

-No.

[ Harmonizing ]

Im flat broke but I dont care

[ Female Clerk ]

How many times I gotta tell you?

-You cant collect unemployment

if you dont look for a job.

-[ Grunts ]

[ Male Clerk ]

If you bring that in, well help you.

-Thank you.

-Next!

[ Exhales, Sighs ]

-You were in advertising, I see. Hmm!

-Yeah.

Princeton?

-Yeah.

-Guess that was before

it went co-ed. [ Laughs ]

My, my, schools like that, you think

theyd teach you how to read.

-Wrong line.

-What?

New claims are the two windows

at the end. You get that

stamped, you come back to me.

What are you, crazy?

Ive been here since 9:00.

So have I. Next!

-[ Female Clerk ] Number 1 25.

-[ Woman ] Okay.

-Youll hear from us. Next!

-Thanks.

You think theres a chance

I could get unemployment

before I get social security?

Have you previously collected benefits?

No. Ive always had a job.

Can you operate any industrial machinery,

farm equipment?

Yeah. That was a required course

in college. Theory of Plowing.

I have all day, Bill.

Now, why dont you tell me what

youd be willing to do?

If you give me a check,

Id be willing to cash it.

Come here.

Come here.

Now, this is your first time here, right?

A man your age. It cant be easy.

Youre humiliated.

Youre frustrated.

I see it on

a hundred peoples faces everyday.

And whether you believe it or not,

I feel for each and every one of em.

Now...

you can either help me help you,

or you can be an a**hole...

in which case

Im gonna make you stand there

until you die and turn to dust.

So...

lets begin again.

Have you previously collected benefits?

No.

What would you be willing to do?

Milk cows.

Uh... shear sheep.

-Pluck chickens.

-All right, Bill.

A couple of weeks

youll hear from us. Next.!

[ Bill ] Smack it.! Run.!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.!

-Aw! Oh!

-Bang, bang, bang.

He cant run. Two million dollars a year,

he runs like Bill Clinton.

The eclipse, Dad. Mexico.

Come on, Emily.

You dont wanna go down there.

Its a hundred degrees.

You get held up at the airport.

-You probably wont get off the toilet

long enough to see it, anyway.

-Dad!

[ Bill Groans ]

Astronomy? Jesus, when are you

gonna grow up?

-I am growin up.

You know its what I wanna do.

-Damn!

Theres the path to big bucks.

Starin out into space. Look!

I discovered Venus. Pay me.

Astrology, maybe you could make

a few dollars doin peoples

horoscopes or somethin.

Why do you always have to be

such a jerk about all this for?

-Frozen malts.

-You want a frozen malt?

-No.

-Gimme two. Gimme two.

Em. Wait a minute. Em, come on.

Im sure youll find a very nice eclipse

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