Puerto Ricans in Paris Page #2

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Okay, I'll tell you what.

Name two Bruno Mars's songs and

you get the tickets. Go ahead.

- Don't do this to me right now.

- Okay, okay.

I'll give you a clue. Ready?

I knew it.

You forgot.

Just like my birthday. Just like last year!

And everything!

I swear to God!

I can't take this anymore!

You know what? You think

I couldn't hear you?

I hear when you piss.

I hear when you sh*t.

I can hear everything in this goddamn

house! I swear to God, Eddie!

Who was that?

My brother-in-law wanted us

to watch the kids tonight.

- Told him he's out of his mind.

- Yeah.

He wonder why I never want

to get married, you know?

What do you mean,

you never wanna get married?

Maybe never is a stretch, but anything

can happen between now and never, babe.

Knock it off, Luis.

I'm 33 1/2.

My biological clock won't

deal with your bullshit.

You said you were 29.

I lied!

So, what, I'm too old

for you now?

No, no, no.

Like my boy Bruno says,

"I like you

just the way you are."

My pretty

little sweet talker.

You really don't ever

wanna get married?

Can we talk about this

after the show?

No, we can't,

'cause I'm not going.

Come on, Vanessa, wait. What are you

talking about you're not going?

You said from the jump

this was gonna be casual.

That's was eight months ago.

Things change, Luis.

And I'm not gonna sit around here waiting for

some old-ass grandpa with commitment issues.

Wait. I don't have issues, okay?

I have an issue.

You really gotta start buttoning

your shirt all the way up.

You ain't Tom Ford.

I didn't actually

forget what day it was.

It's just between the kids and the

bills there's not much left ever.

So when I realized it

was our anniversary today,

I was just hoping it would

sort of go away... I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Maybe next year

we'll do something.

Stay tuned, because X

Factor will be right back.

So you just went

by yourself?

I wasn't gonna

waste those tickets.

Gloria still hasn't responded

to any of my texts, man.

My sister,

she can hold a grudge.

She's still mad at me for wearing

sneakers to her quinceaera.

Yo. Sarge wants to see you

two in her office, ASAP.

She probably wants to fire you for

wearing that dumbass T-shirt to work.

So, you guys are French.

Technically, I did meet my first husband

at the Paris Hotel in Las Vegas.

Also where I met

my second husband. Yeah.

Gentlemen.

Meet Colette and Vincent.

They have come

all the way from Paris

just to talk to you

two boricuas.

I won't take up

any more of their time.

Sure I can't get you anything? Coffee,

tea, hot croissant from Au Bon Pain?

No, we're fine. Thank you.

Suit yourself.

"Au revoir."

Au revoir.

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