Ordinary Decent Criminal Page #2

F***ing hell!

Excuse me, ladies...

say hello to my little friend.

Ho... here we go. He's off.

Put your foot down there, Con.

Something happening, Control.

You're telling me. There's a report

of a robbery at the dole office.

Oh, for f***'s sake, we're just

at the f***ing dole office.

What?

F*** it! What do we do now?

I never promised you a story.

You did!

I did not.

You did so, da!

What did I tell you about lying?

To lie to everyone

except you and ma.

And us.

Oh, yeah, and Auntie Lisa.

And the whole family. You never

lie to anyone in the family.

Tell us the story

about The Mansions, da.

Yeah, da,

tell us about The Mansions.

Fair enough.

Do you want to hear

the whole thing?

From the start.

Okay.

Long, long ago,

years ago before you were born

and your ma and me and Auntie Lisa

were very young

we all lived in a place

called The Mansions.

All our grannies and grand-dads

and brothers

and sisters and all our pals.

It was brilliant.

It was like a big hotel...

built specially for us

and all our mates.

And when I was young,

I used to think

God was smiling down on us.

Putting a special glow around us

so we could do as we pleased.

Go about our business with

no-one getting in our way.

And that it would never change.

Tell us about the bailiffs, da.

All right, so.

Do you know what bailiffs are?

They're just like gods

but they're worse.

Much worse.

So... one day...

this was before you were born.

I was coming home

after working hard all day.

And I saw them -- the bailiffs

attacking our homes.

Big bastards with hammers and

knives and all sorts of things.

But that didn't stop me

when I saw what they were at.

I went for them.

We fought for hours.

But there was too many altogether.

So, your ma and me and Lisa

we barricaded ourselves in

and we wouldn't come out.

You're need gonna take our homes

away from us.

And they couldn't get in,

no matter how hard they tried.

They huffed and they puffed,

but it was no use.

And all around us...

we could hear

the screaming and wailing

of our friends and neighbors

as they tore their houses

to little pieces.

Like savages they were.

They tried everything

but they didn't know me.

I wouldn't budge.

No matter if they brought the

whole place down around our ears.

And then the Mayor came!

That's right.

They were so pissed off

they couldn't get the better of me

the Lord Mayor of Dublin himself

come out to see your da.

Mr. Lynch.

Michael!

Michael! Michael, please,

if you'll just hear me.

Michael...

Get on your knees!

I'm pleading with you!

I personally have been authorized

to offer you these keys

to two houses.

One for us and one for Auntie Lisa.

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