Once Upon a Crime... Page #2

I not only sold the dog...

excuse me, darlin'...

I not only sold the dog, but I got $6,000.

That's $1,000 more than the

woman who owns him would pay.

You would've done the same thing.

No, Julian, I wouldn't have.

He's not ours to sell.

We promised that woman we'd return her dog!

I don't believe in making

promises I can't keep.

I don't see my name on that check.

Who should he make it out to,

"Julian Peters and Phoebe"?

What are we, a trapeze act?

I was going to share the money with you.

Yeah, right.

Yes! This is the man.

Here's your check. Sorry for the confusion.

Oh, there's no confusion.

I don't want the check. I want the dog.

You can buy 10 dogs for that price.

Why this one?

My wife has a female of this breed.

She was looking for a male.

Apparently, I won't do.

Mister, I need this dog.

Please take your check back.

I'm sorry. A deal is a deal.

Besides, I already promised

the dog he'd get laid.

Customs. Whose dog is this?

- Mine.

- It's ours.

As you can see, sir, the dog belongs to me.

Do you have the dog's papers?

Papers?

If you don't have papers,

you must leave the train...

and have the dog examined

by a veterinary authority.

It's their dog.

I was just letting him lick me.

- Good night.

- Get your luggage, please.

Get the bags. You-hon, signore'.!

I'm still interested in the dog.

Would you excuse me? I'm

being kicked off this train.

I'd like to ask the conductor to slow down.

If the owner should have

a change of heart...

come to me in Monte Carlo.

I'll take the dog off your hands.

Augie Morosco. L'Hotel de Paris.

Thank you.

Madame Van Dougen? This

is Julian Peters again.

No, we just got held up...

because we had to have a

veterinarian examine him...

because we didn't have his papers.

A veterinarian, uh, to

ex... a doctor de puppy.

Right, so we can cross the border.

No, he's in perfect health, he really is.

Of course he's here. No, he's at a cafe.

You want to talk to him? All right, sure.

Hang on. Nice life.

You hear that? He lit up at

the sound of your voice.

Listen, we missed the last

train, so we have to take a bus.

A busso. Bustee. Bussee. The bus, right.

So we'll be there in a while, about 1:00.

We can come over, but isn't

that a little late for...

Madame Van Dougen? Are you sick?

Is she having sex now?

Are you OK?

Can you just talk a little slower?

I'm having trouble understanding.

Madame Van Dougen? Hello?

Neil, you're missing this!

It's so beautiful!

- It's so romantic...

- Romantic, right.

Look, honey, you're going to take forever.

Why don't you just meet me in the casino?

I'll only be a couple of minutes.

Marilyn, don't torture me.

You make me sit here...

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