North Page #2

What do you mean?

Look, kid, just because

I'm in a bunny suit

doesn't mean I haven't stumbled

across some basic truths.

The feeling of being

insufficiently appreciated

is a common childhood lament.

I'm not common.

Course not,

but I'll bet you that even

Wolfgang amadeus Mozart...

who wrote a symphony

by the age of 3...

had some evenings there

with an angry parent yelling,

"stop banging

on that damn piano."

But Mr. Mozart's dead

and I'm alive,

so I'll bet you that right now

I'm in more pain than he is.

Hard to argue with that one.

At this point,

I'd even settle

for Mozart's parents.

Unfortunately, you don't

get to make that choice.

The one thing we cannot control

is who our parents are.

You're dealt a hand,

you're stuck with it.

It's not like baseball, where

you can become a free agent

and try to get a better

deal with another team.

Another team...

This is real life, kid.

The rules are different.

I got to get back upstairs.

You want my advice...

and I know

you didn't ask for it...

go home, make up, and goodbye.

And that was it.

Nothing special.

I just left him there

in that secret spot of his,

just him and his thoughts.

Free agency.

What a scoop!

A kid becoming a free agent,

then offering his services

as a devoted son

to the highest-bidding

set of parents.

It's brilliant, north,

simply brilliant!

This still isn't for sure yet.

This could be my Watergate.

Winchell, you put out

a two-page leaflet

with a circulation of 90.

Might land me a pulitzer.

I told you this as my friend,

not as editor of the

school newspaper.

I'm a journalist, north.

You never said this conversation

was off the record.

I need time to think.

I'll hold the story,

but a few more displays

like that panther game,

and some parents

may start doing

some thinking of their own.

That damn panther game.

And that geography test

we took today?

What about it?

You got a 34.

Chicago's in Africa?

Mexico... an island

off the coast of Montana?

Where'd you get this?

I'm a journalist, north.

I can't reveal my sources.

How I got this test

isn't important.

Why you got this grade is.

Your instincts are correct.

You need new parents,

and you need them now.

Unless...

Unless what?

Unless you haven't

got the guts.

I've got more guts than

anybody in this town.

Eh, talk is cheap.

I just feel I owe it

to my parents

to give them one last chance.

What can I say?

You came to me,

sought my counsel.

The rest is up to you.

No, no, that's o.K.

Thanks, anyway.

North wanted to give his folks

every chance to keep

the family together.

He tried his mom,

but she was too busy

rerouting the himmelmans.

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