Mystery Men Page #3

RAJA:

And there's plenty more where that came from.

Big Red gives a shrill whistle, and a dozen more Red Eyes step out of

an old caboose... including MIKEY, a four hundred pound behemoth. He

is eating a container of Ben and Jerry's like it was an ice cream cone,

taking huge bites out of it, container and all.

RAJA AND SHOVELER, reacting... Gulp. This was more than they'd

bargained for. But Furious just growls; he's game.

BIG RED:

GET 'EM!

The Red Eyes attack... Mister Furious goes into a furious face; his

hair stands out straight and he rushes right into the oncoming

crooks...

A Red Eye takes a swing at the Shoveler--but he simply puts up his

shovel and lets the crook slug the shovel's pan. The crook yelps with

pain and shakes his battered hand... as the Raja fends off crooks,

poking them with salad forks... and the baby sits in his stroller,

watching and laughing, really enjoying the show. (There's no real

martial artistry or teamwork here; this is a classic back alley

brouhaha.)

But there's too many of then... The Raja goes down under swinging

fists... and so does the Shoveler...

Furious holds his own, taking out crooks with powerful lefts and

rights--until Mikey runs him down like a truck, falling right on top of

him and crushing him under his massive weight.

RED EYES:

Crush him, Mikey!... Mash him!... Mush him!

FURIOUS:

(barely audible under all that meat)

Is that all you got?

RED EYES:

He wants more!... Squish him!... Finish him

off!

FURIOUS:

(faintly)

Your mother!

Mikey, sweating, bears down... but suddenly, a calm, very authoritative

voice is heard.

VOICE (0.S.)

Is there a problem?

Everything suddenly stops, as the Red Eyes look up and see... CAPTAIN

AMAZING standing on tap of the boxcar, hands on hips, framed in the

light at the moon, his biceps bulging, his state of the art physique

sculpted body armor gleaming in the moonlight, his cape wafting

heroically in the wind. He is superhero perfection incarnate.

ON THE RED EYES as their viciousness turns instantly to panic...

RED EYES:

IT'S CAPTAIN AMAZING!

Big Red and a couple others try to run for it, but Amazing leaps ca-

like off the boxcar and is on them in a flash. As the baby claps his

hands in delight, and our three heroes watch in beat-up awe, Amazing

deftly takes out the crooks with expert punches and effortlessly

delivered elbows and kicks. He is the consumate superhero, and he

doesn't even break a sweat.

The remaining Red Eyes drop to their knees and throw up their hands in

surrender.

RED EYES:

We give!... We're sorry!... We had terrible

childhoods! (Etc.)

Police cars and a TV truck come screeching into the train yard... and

the scene is suddenly flooded vith light and swarming with cops and

reporters...

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