My Super Ex-Girlfriend Page #3

- Yeah? You think I should?

- Oh, yeah.

Cos she's good to go.

And you haven't gone in six months.

Oh, yes. Plus, what's the downside?

I don't know. She seems a little, uh...

She's neurotic, you know. And distant.

That's good. That's a good thing.

Neurotic and distant is a very good thing.

Yeah, neurotic women are hellcats in bed.

Plus, if she's distant,

you're both in it for the same thing.

Coitus maximus.

There's no, "Could she be the one? I'm falling

hard for her" kind of crap to get in the way.

It's just pure carnal nirvana.

- Your argument's repugnant and intriguing.

- That's kind of my thing.

- Oh, hey.

- Hi. Oh, wow. Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- A rose.

Different color roses mean different things.

Red ones mean passion or love,

so this is great.

But I'm not saying I think

you're telling me that you love me.

I mean, it's absurdly early for that.

But you never know. Maybe someday.

Or never. No pressure.

Let me get us a cab. Taxi.

Taxi!

Hey, it's stopping.

Here we go.

You OK?

At least we got a ride.

Can we stop by the gallery?

We opened a new show.

Sounds great.

Hey, thanks for stopping. Appreciate it.

Wow.

Wonder what she's looking at.

Ouch! That's gotta hurt.

So what do you think?

It's interesting. And a little disturbing.

I know. It's surprising

how frightening things attract us.

Matt, I have to help people every day,

and nobody's ever helped me except you.

You're my hero.

I'm sorry. What is it? Tell me.

It's your tongue. You're using it all wrong.

- What are you talking about?

- You shouldn't stick it out like a dead fish.

You're supposed to flick it a little.

I think that I was flicking it, wasn't I?

I was doing that.

- No. Not enough.

- Really?

I'm not used to having my tongue skills

critiqued like this, OK?

Maybe not to your face.

Oh, man.

Let me help you.

Close your eyes.

Now do what I do.

So, uh... this is my place.

I redesigned the space when I bought it.

- It's nice.

- Thank you.

This is the dining room.

Doesn't get a lot of use.

- Well, I could help with that.

- OK.

This is my fish. That's Biggie Smalls.

Hi, Biggie.

He's... he's never met a woman before.

Well, he's about to get an eyeful.

- Will you show me the rest of your place?

- OK.

I'll take you over to the kitchen.

That's the refrigerator.

I can get you a juice, a beer.

I'll make you anything. Yeah.

I'm not thirsty either.

- And this is the, uh...

- Bed.

Oh, that's a great sweater. Wow.

What a blouse.

Let me help with those buttons.

- I'm sorry. I need the, um...

- Oh, yeah. The bathroom? It's right there.

She goes to the bathroom a lot.

I'm ready.

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