MoDeRn WaRfArE 3: kItTy StOmPeRs Page #3

Synopsis: Soldiers around the world continue trying to prevent Random World War Every Freaking FPS Game Seems To Be About as kitties begin to meow louder than usual in this action thriller-comedy spoof of the masterpiece trilogy.
Year:
2011
120 Views


SANDMAN:

Now we just need to wait for extraction.

FROST:

I hope we don't have to use any sort of vehicle. If it's got seats and a steering wheel, it's going to be blown up.

FIVE EXTRACTION VEHICLES are BLOWN UP, so they escape aboard the SIXTH.

EXT. EIFFEL TOWER - PARIS

Through the INTERROGATION of a SOMALI WARLORD, which we WON'T GET INTO, CAPTAIN PRICE learns that one of MAKAROV'S ALLIES, VOLK, is in PARIS. SANDMAN and FROST go after him.

SANDMAN:

There he is! He's getting in a car!

FROST:

We need him alive, right?

SANDMAN:

Right! So you blindly shoot at the car and I'll violently drive it off the road! That should make absolutely sure Volk survives!

All of that HAPPENS.

SANDMAN:

Great, now we just have to get him out of here. The extraction point is right next to the Eiffel Tower.

They escort VOLK to the EIFFEL TOWER, which COLLAPSES from an AERIAL BOMBARDMENT.

FROST:

Oh no! What will movies use now to indicate that Paris is Paris?

SANDMAN:

So it's come this far. We've finally reached the point where we need to rip off Team America: World Police.

CAPTAIN PRICE learns from VOLK that MAKAROV has arranged a MEETING in a HOTEL in PRAGUE.

EXT. HOTEL LUSTIG - PRAGUE

After eliminating MAKAROV'S FORCES in the area, CAPTAIN MACTAVISH and YURI set up position inside a CHURCH TOWER overlooking the HOTEL.

YURI:

You know, we just triggered an entire street war only to set up this vantage point. I'm sure that's going to raise Makarov's suspicions.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Feh, I'm sure it's fine.

YURI:

Also, Makarov must know that we captured Volk, so he's probably aware that this meeting has been compromised.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Look, there's Makarov now. See? You worry too much.

YURI:

Yeah, the fact that he's showing up at all should set off even more alarm bells.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Would you stop with all the negativity?

As CAPTAIN PRICE moves in for the KILL, MAKAROV sets off the obvious TRAP. CAPTAIN MACTAVISH is SEVERELY WOUNDED.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

It was a trap! How did he know?

CAPTAIN PRICE:

Soap, we've got to get you out of here! You've already lost three grown men's worth of blood!

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

It's too late, Price. This series is just too dead set on illustrating that anyone can die. I just wish my dying words could be something epic and not simply a random plot point. So yeah, Makarov knows Yuri and everything.

(dies oh no)

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

What did Soap mean when he said Makarov knows you?

A series of FLASHBACKS retroactively shows YURI hanging out with MAKAROV during some of the PREVIOUS GAMES' KEY SCENES.

CAPTAIN PRICE:

And what was the point of that? It's not casting any doubts on your allegiance, so it doesn't change your present character in the slightest.

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