Me and Earl and the Dying Girl Page #3

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Look, I don't want you

hanging out with me.

I don't need your stupid pity.

It's fine, you can just go.

No, no.

You got it all wrong. I'm not

here 'cause I pity you.

I'm actually here

because my mom is making me.

That's actually worse.

Yeah, I know.

Look, it's okay. Honestly,

I'm fine. Just... just go.

Okay, Rachel, just listen

to me for a second.

My mom is gonna turn my life

into a living hell...

...if I don't hang out

with you.

I can't overstate how annoying

she's being about this.

She's basically like

the LeBron James of nagging.

LeBron James plays basketball.

I know who LeBron James is.

Look, I know I'm not doing you

any favors here.

What I'm asking is for you

to do me a favor.

You want a favor from me?

Yes.

Just let me hang out

with you for one day.

I could tell

my mom we hung out

and then we'll just be

out of each other's lives.

Deal?

Deal.

Word.

Is that a Black Power salute?

No, I was going in

for a fist bump.

I can't fist bump you

from up here.

Yeah, I realize that.

Books.

Nice.

And, uh...

...tree wallpaper.

That's good.

Why?

I don't know.

There's a lot of pillows

in here.

Mmm-hmm.

Seriously, like, how many...

how many pillows is that?

I don't know.

I wish I had

that many pillows.

So, ask your parents for some.

No, they'd be suspicious

or something.

What, that you'd sleep

all the time?

No. Probably assume

I was gonna masturbate

all over them.

They just have

some gross ideas about me.

But that's on them.

They're always getting

sexy pillows.

This is a nice pillow.

This pillow is a dude,

obviously...

...but it reminds me

of this pillow

we used to have

named Francesca.

They have a similar coloring.

Anyway, Francesca,

we had to eventually

give away because in the end...

...that whole situation

was just a real problem.

It was a mess.

There was a real chemistry

between us both that

I think no one could deny.

I know the world may have

thought it was wrong...

...but I think, personally,

the world was wrong...

...about what

could be between...

...a pillow, and a boy...

...who became a man.

Or whatever. I'm just...

...trying to be funny.

No, that was good. Thank you.

Oh, sh*t.

I actually have to go.

That's okay. Who was that?

Sorry. Uh, that was Earl.

Oh, who's Earl?

You may remember Earl

from 15 minutes ago.

Titties.

So, some people think

Earl is my friend,

but he's really not.

He's more like a coworker.

I've known him

since kindergarten.

His house is

a short walk from mine,

but in a much

tougher neighborhood.

His dad is in Texas, his mom

is a depressed shut-in.

And his brother

Derrick's dog Doopie

will definitely eat me someday.

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