Man on the Moon Page #2

DRUNK AUDIENCE:

TWEET!!

ANDY:

"And the lion goes..."

DRUNK AUDIENCE:

ROAR!!

ANDY:

"And that's the way it goes!"

(he grins)

Thank you. Goodbye!

Andy waves and bows. There's faint scattered applause.

Andy sighs. An irritated MANAGER steps onstage. He shoots

Andy a disgruntled look, then takes the mike.

MANAGER:

The comedy stylings of Andy Kaufman,

Ladies and Gentlemen!

In the b.g., Andy starts packing up his props: Hand puppets,

conga drums, a phonograph... it all goes into a big bulky

case.

CUT TO:

INT. NY NIGHTCLUB - 1975 - LATER THAT NIGHT

The club is empty. At the bar, the manager cleans up. Andy

eagerly comes over. Offstage, his presence is soft, placid

-- his voice barely above a whisper.

ANDY:

So, Mr. Besserman, same slot

tomorrow...?

MANAGER:

(awkward)

Eh, I dunno... Andy. I'm...

thinkin' of letting you go...

ANDY:

You're firing me??

(beat)

You don't even pay me!

MANAGER:

Look -- I don't wanna seem

insulting. But... your act is like

amateur hour:
Singalongs...

puppets... playing records...

A stunned beat. Andy is hurt.

ANDY:

What do you want? "Take my wife,

please"??

MANAGER:

Sure! Comedy! Make jokes about the

traffic. Do impressions. Maybe a

little blue material...

ANDY:

I don't swear. I -- I don't do what

everyone else does!

MANAGER:

Well, everyone else gets this place

cookin'! Pal, it's hard for me to

move the booze when you're singin'

"Pop Goes The Weasel."

Andy stares, disheartened.

MANAGER (cont'd)

I'm sorry. You're finished here.

An uncomfortable beat -- and then Andy starts crying.

The manager is dumbfounded. He doesn't know what to do.

Tears are rolling pitifully down Andy's cheeks. The manager

is confused -- totally disoriented. Shamed, Andy covers his

face, then runs out. Silence. The manager stares after

him... having no idea what just happened.

EXT. NY NIGHTCLUB - 1975 - NIGHT

Sobbing Andy bursts out the door. He steps onto the

sidewalk -- and IMMEDIATELY STOPS CRYING. Just like that.

Andy lifts his big case and starts walking. Andy shakes his

head angrily.

He turns down a dark street, hurrying alone through an

unsavory New York neighborhood. But then... TWO MEN

appear... silently approaching. Andy stops uncertainly --

debating whether to turn around. But in that second -- the

thugs are upon him, glaring menacingly.

THUG #1

Give us your wallet.

Andy stares fearfully. An anxious moment. He thinks...

considering his options.

Then, he suddenly stammers in a thick FOREIGN ACCENT.

ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)

I -- doo not unterstand!!

THUG #1

Give us your money!

ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)

What?? What mooney? Abu daboo! I

do not have mooney!

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