Love And Other Drugs Page #2

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- ... and there you are to supply them.

This is so crazy

that you're yelling at me for nothing!

I'm not doing it!

If you barbarians won't be still

and finish this lamb,

none of you will get the chocolate cake.

Yes, Mom!

Oh, Jamie,

if you could make money f***ing,

you'd be even richer than me.

I'll call the Pfizer guy in the morning.

Let's welcome the class of 1997 trainees!

This is not a pill. This is tens

of millions of dollars in research.

This is thousands of hours of hard labor.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is software.

Your training will last six weeks.

Each of you will leave here

a fully qualified health care professional.

That's 33% fewer phone calls

for you at 4:
00 a. m.

That's 33% less angry... Sh*t!

Your job will be to go fight illness.

Hello... F***!

Sh*t!

Ah! F***! Ah! Sh*t! Ow!

Off-label uses are benefits

not yet recognized by the FDA.

But you can boost sales

by hinting at what these uses are.

Hello, Doctor.

Do you know that prescribing Zithromax...

Prescribing Zithromax...

Bonjour, Doctor!

Prescribing Zithromax... Zithromax.

Ah!

Zoloft, a drug approved solely

for the treatment of depression.

Off-label uses:
alcoholism, bulimia, PMS,

smoking, social anxiety.

Is there a question?

Zoloft has been associated

with suicidal ideation in teenagers.

Unproven.

Proven. Unreported.

Your job will be to

go share this technology.

Your job will be to go save lives.

The health care industry today

is worth $2 trillion a year.

The top 10 pharma companies

make more money

than all 490 of the other

Fortune 500 companies combined.

- What family is Feldene a part of?

- Non-steroidal...

Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory.

An NSAID.

A better world, that's why we're here.

Lipitor in Palm Beach!

Xanax, New England!

What about you, Jamie-bamie?

Zoloft and Zithromax

in the Ohio River Valley.

Welcome to Pfizer!

What are you thinking about?

Money.

Pay attention.

We are not going door-to-door selling

oatmeal cookies for the Girl Scouts here.

You are not the goddamn Avon lady.

You understand what I'm saying?

This is hardcore sales,

and you have a quota.

And people at the home office

keeping track of that quota.

And your cold calls, and your mileage,

and your receipts.

How often you goddamn masturbate.

What is the quota for masturbation?

You can masturbate

as much as you like, smartass,

as long as you make a lot of money.

Okay.

Voila!

Okay, now, remember.

Hospitals have a no-reps policy.

Doesn't mean we can't give the docs

a nice, dry walk from their cars.

All right?

There he is. All right.

No time like the present.

- Get your head in the game.

- All right.

- Remember, Pfizer makes his life better.

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