Louis C.K. - Live at the Beacon Theater Page #3
- Year:
- 2011
- 63 min
- 397 Views
It's so much better.
You get a bigger seat.
You get food.
But also, you get to sit first.
You get to sit before
anybody else does.
They sit you down and you get
to just sit there with champagne
and watch all the sweaty,
miserable,
all the single moms hefting
their stroller and the kid.
"That looks heavy and nobody's
helping you. That's a drag."
And you get to just--
Anyway, so I'm on the plane.
I'm in first class
and this soldier gets on the plane.
I see soldiers fly all the time
because that's how they
get to the war.
They fly on a shitty airline.
You think they get to go on a
cool green plane with a red light.
"Go! Go! Go!"
No, they just go to Delta.
And they just
wait in line to go to a war.
And they always fly coach.
first class in my life.
It could be a full bird colonel,
he's between two fat
guys in coach.
And they're always nice.
I've never seen a soldier
get on a plane--
"Hey, I'm in the Army."
"F*** you. I have a gun."
They're always, "Oh, yes sir.
Thank you very much ma'am."
It's like having an extra flight attendant.
They help everybody put their sh*t up.
They're awesome.
And every time that I see a
soldier on a plane, I always think,
You know what,
I should give him my seat.
It would be the right thing to do.
It would be easy to do and it
would mean a lot to him.
I could go up to him, "Hey, Son."
I get to call him, "Son."
"Hey, son, go ahead
and take my seat."
Because I'm in first class, why,
for being a professional a**hole.
I'm in first class because I talk
about babies with big d*cks.
That's what got me my seat.
This guy is giving his life
for the country, he thinks,
and so he has to sit--
But that's good enough.
That's good enough,
the fact that he thinks it.
I'm serious.
He's f***ing told by everybody
in his life system
that that's a great thing
to do and he's doing it.
And it's scary but he's doing it.
And he's sitting in this shitty seat
I never have.
Let me make that clear.
I've never done it once.
I've had so many opportunities.
I never even really,
seriously came close.
And here's the worst part.
I still just enjoy the fantasy
for myself to enjoy.
I was actually proud of myself
I was proud.
Ah, I am such a sweet man.
That is so nice of me
to think of that and then
totally never do it.
just to the people--
Just turn a good face to the
people that you see in life.
I don't do that either
because when I get in the
elevator in my building--
That's my first contact
being home and just being
disgusting for hours.
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Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"Louis C.K. - Live at the Beacon Theater" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/louis_c.k._-_live_at_the_beacon_theater_12883>.
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